Page 81 of Playing the Player

She gasps dramatically, placing one hand to her chest. “Oh, my dear. You must not have heard me right with that old man hearing of yours.” She winks in my direction and I laugh softly as Conor chuckles beside me.

“You can see where I get my sense of humor from.” Conor whispers to me. There’s a twinkle in Linda’s eyes when she catches sight of Conor taking my hand in his again. I can just tell she has giant signs lighting up behind her eyes, screaming ‘wedding’ and ‘grandbabies’ and that settles heavily on my stomach, churning what’s left of the popcorn I had at the stadium.

We chat for a little while about their road trip, what they’ve been up to, what they have planned over the next few weeks. Linda asks questions about us, but I let Conor answer those. I don’t trust myself not to trip over another lie.

Eventually, I stand. “I better get going.” Conor pouts. “I’ll come back first thing tomorrow.” I gather my bag from where I left it on the floor, moving towards Conor again, “I’ll get started on that list.” His chest rumbles with laughter as I lean down and kiss his cheek.

“What list?” His dad, Peter, asks.

“Sash wants to make a list of things I can do now since I’ll be off the ice for a while.”

“Just make sure singing stays off that list. His voice could raise the dead.”

“Mom.” Conor groans, feigning hurt. “My voice is amazing.”

“Whatever you say, my love.”

I get to the door and turn back to Conor one last time. He smiles at me. A real smile. It’s not forced. Not brave. Just… happy.

And for the first time since I watched him slam into those boards, I finally believe he’s going to be okay.

Josh is on his feet before I’ve even closed the door to their apartment. “How is he?”

“He’s good, all things considered.”

He lets out a long sigh as relief washes over him. “There were too many of us in the waiting room.” He tells me, “They wouldn’t let us stay.”

“His parents are there now so he’s not alone. Don’t worry, Josh.” He rubs both hands over his beard before collapsing onto the couch. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault, you know?”

“How could it have been your fault? You were nowhere near him.”

“Exactly!” His voice is rough, full of guilt. “I’m the captain, I should be there for my team. I should be protecting them on that ice.”

I sit next to him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. I’ve never seen Josh this worked up before, not even at that Halloween party where he dressed like a giant piece of space shit. “Josh, what happened tonight is not your fault. I know you want to protect your team, but you have to play the game as well. You can’t follow every player around like a guard dog all night long.”

“I know that, but-”

“No buts.” I interrupt him, trying to make him see reason. “Look, that team was there tonight to cause shit. They were dirty playing bastards and someone was gonna get hurt eventually. It sucks ass that it was Conor, but there is nothing anyone could have done to stop it from happening.” He finally looks at me. “Get out of your head.”

“Thanks, Sash.” He gives me a tight hug before standing from the couch. “Ollie is waiting in the room for you.” My stomach sinks. “She wants to talk to you.”

Shit. That’s never good.

I find Olivia sitting cross-legged on the bed, scrolling through her phone. She throws it down onto the bed as soon as she notices me. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. The meds are helping him with the pain, but he’s pretty bummed out about not being on the ice any time soon.”

“I get that.” I move to the bed, propping myself up against the pillows, avoiding Olivia’s gaze. “You need to tell him, Sash.”

“Tell him what?”

“That you love him.”

“Olivia, I am not having this conversation with you again.” I move to stand but Olivia’s hand wrapping around my wrist stops me.

“Yes you are.” I sigh heavily, reluctantly sitting back down. “I don’t know if you’re lying to me or lying to yourself, but get over it, Sasha. Cut the bullshit and tell me the truth.”