Page 12 of Playing the Player

Finding out she was sixteen weeks pregnant gave her something to fight for, and she worked so damn hard to pull herself out of that dark place. But I knew those feelings were always there, deep down. You can’t just shake them overnight. It takes time.

Josh and I agreed, along with doctor’s orders, that we'd keep a close eye on her after Bella was born so that she didn’t fall into that depression again. Now anytime she sounds even the tiniest bit upset, I’m on high alert. I like to call it protective. Olivia likes to call it annoying.

“I promise, Sash. I’m just exhausted.” She follows that statement with a loud yawn, eliciting one from me in return. “Isabella was up for most of the night crying and since Josh had an away game yesterday, I was on my own.”

“You should have called me.”

“At 4am? I don’t think so.”

“Yes, at 4am. I don’t care what time it is, if you need help, call me.”

“Thank you, Sash.” Silence settles between us and soon, Olivia’s breathing evens out. Is she sleeping? Should I just hang up? I don’t want to say anything and disturb her. “Fuck, I need to get up.”

I practically jump out of my skin at her sudden outburst. “You scared me, you bitch. I thought you were sleeping.” I rest my palm against my erratically beating heart, trying to get it to slow to a normal pace.

“I think I was sleeping.” I can hear cupboards slamming and dishes clacking on the other end of the phone. That woman can never just sit down. “Bella is sleeping now so I need to get stuff done. Josh has only been gone for a day and already I’ve turned this place into a pigsty.” I laugh, picturing the state of her apartment. Olivia is not known to be a tidy girl. She always says, ‘Don’t worry. The place isn’t dirty, it’s just messy.’

“Anyway,” she starts as more ruffling sounds come through the phone, “any more thoughts about dating?”

It’s been two weeks since my not-date with Conor. The not-date I still haven’t told Liv about. I know, I know, I’m a terrible friend. But I just know she’ll make it so much more than it is and I don’t want to deal with that right now. I mean, we haven’t even called each other so why do I need to make it a thing when it clearly isn’t one?

“Nope.” I reply, popping the ‘p’. “But,” I pause for dramatic effect, “I’m gonna leave my job. I fucking hate it here.”

“Well it’s taken you long enough.” Olivia mutters into my ear. “What are you gonna do instead?”

“I want to write.” I say it with so much confidence. Confidence I don’t actually have but maybe if I use that attitude enough, it’ll pay off.

“Finally!” She whisper-shouts in response, trying not to wake her sleeping baby. “You’re so good at it, Sash. You’d be an amazing author.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Not maybe. Definitely. What would you write about?”

“I don’t know. I’ve always leaned more into romance books so I was thinking something along those lines.”

“Oh my God, yes! Oh, write a cowboy romance. Please, please, please.” She draws out the last please, causing me to laugh. She always complains that you don’t get real cowboys in the UK. Considering she moved over here when she was still a kid, I didn’t think it would matter that much but clearly, I’m wrong. The woman is obsessed.

“Well, I was actually thinking of writing about you and Josh. I could do a forbidden romance kinda thing.”

“That could be cute,” She agrees, “but what if it’s boring? I mean, Josh and I have had a pretty smooth relationship apart from that small hiccup in the middle.”

I almost choke on air. “You’re joking, right?” I ask, surprise in my tone. “Olivia Evans, there was nothing smooth about your relationship until Bella came along.”

“How so?”

“Okay, well, you had an epic meet cute. You literally fell on your ass just because you were more busy watching him than you were on where your feet were going.” She huffs a laugh as I continue. “Then, you snuck around for months. Secret office sex, secret bathroom sex, secret-”

“I get it, Sash. We had lots of secret sex.” I can hear her smiling through the phone, I’m sure thinking about all that hot secret sex. Okay, now I’m thinking about it too! Damn it, I need to get laid.

“But then, the evil villain, Ryan, gets it the way and all hell breaks loose! By that point, plot twist, you’re already pregnant with your secret love child.”

Olivia is howling through the phone. “Secret love child? God, Sash! That’s brilliant.”

Ignoring her, I continue. “And from then, it’s a happily ever after. I think it would make a great book.”

“You know what, babe? I think so too.”

“Samantha!” A loud voice booms in my direction causing me to flinch.