Page 47 of Verdict

Because somewhere between her soft breathing and the steady rise and fall of her chest, I realized how easy this felt. How right. And how much damage something like this could do if it were taken away.

My jaw tightened.

I’d learned a long time ago that comfort and safety were never permanent.

I stared at the dark window across the room, Ava asleep in my lap, my hand still tangled in her hair. The lines we'd spent the last year drawing suddenly felt a lot harder to find.

And I wondered whether it was already too late to pretend they were still there.

I woke up to the smell of coffee and soft baby giggles. I stretched my arms up over my head and glanced toward the kitchen—I was still on the couch.

Ava had Ellie propped up in her Boppy on the counter, her dark hair piled high on her head as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She took a sip between tickling and kissing Ellie’s toes, looking at our daughter with such ease and adoration that Ellie mirrored it right back up at her. Warm. Uncomplicated. The kind of moment I wanted to step into and never leave.

I pushed off the couch and padded into the kitchen.

Ava glanced over her shoulder, offering me a soft smile. “Good morning.”

I leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ellie’s head. When I straightened, Ava handed me a cup of coffee before turning back to the counter, busying herself with the dishwasher—putting space between us without saying a word, but I felt it.

I took the cup. “Thanks.” I lifted it and took a sip, my eyes lingering on the back of her head. I cleared my throat. “Ellie looks a lot better this morning. Did she have a fever when she woke up?”

Ava shook her head, still focused on the dishes. “Her temp was still a little elevated, but no fever.”

“Good.”

The silence that followed felt heavier than it should’ve been. The air between us went ice cold.

We’d just had incredible sex. She’d fallen asleep in my lap. I’d opened up to her in ways I never had with anyone. And now she couldn’t even look at me.

I rocked back on my heels, my gaze drifting back to Ellie. “So… I can stick around and help with her today if you want.”

Ava paused for just a second before resuming what she was doing. “That’s okay. You should go enjoy your day off. She seems a lot better today.”

“Are you sure?” I hated the edge of disappointment in my voice. The hurt.

She nodded. “Yeah. If she’s still good this afternoon, I was thinking of taking her to Primrose Hill.”

I exhaled slowly. “Okay. Well… I guess I’ll head out.”

I bent down and kissed Ellie one more time.

Ava stayed at the sink, unloading the dishwasher, her body still angled away from me. Her walls hadn’t just gone back up—they’d been reinforced with steel.

I let myself out, trying to shake off the whiplash of thinking something had changed.

Maybe nothing had.

Maybe it was better that way… it was probably better that way.

Because if something had changed, then I would’ve had to decide what to do about it. And I wasn’t sure I was ready to make that decision.

Today was one of my few days off as we ramped up for the playoffs. I should have been at the gym, but I couldn’t seem to peel myself off the couch. I flipped through the channels, trying to find something to watch, but I kept getting distracted by thoughts of last night.

I told myself nothing had changed.

But it didn’t feel that simple.

Is it all in my head?