Page 24 of Curveball

"So… just so I'm clear. You had a moment with Farrah over Christmas, the girl you are obviously still in love with, and now you want to buy a property in Primrose Hill?"

"I've always wanted to buy a property in Primrose Hill and have horses again," I argued.

What I wasn’t going to tell him was that it hadn’t just been Christmas Eve. Farrah had come out to my parents' property a couple of times to hang out, we’d had a few lunches together, and grabbed the occasional coffee. Our friendship was being rebuilt, but the attraction was stronger than ever. I saw the way she looked at me, how she would find ways to touch me. I wasn't any better, but we never crossed a line. She still had a boyfriend after all, but my hope was that once I told her how I felt and showed her this house, that would all change.

"Mmhmm." Cohen wasn't convinced.

"Say what you need to say, Coh." I picked my phone back up, turned it off speaker, and placed it against my ear.

"Just tread lightly, James. I don't want you to get your hopes up and get hurt again. Y’all were drinking, talking about old times, and she was fighting with her boyfriend… that doesn't necessarily mean anything. And even if she does break up with the guy, do you really think she would be ready to jump right back into something with you?"

I hated it when Cohen made valid points.

Yes, she and Jake may have been going through a rough patch, but I knew what I felt. She wasn't over me any more than I was over her; something was still there after all these years.

"Look. Best-case scenario, she dumps Jake, I buy this house, and she sees how serious I am about having my home base back in Primrose Hill. Not saying we get back together overnight, but me being in Primrose Hill a lot more would give us a shot. Worst case scenario, she doesn't dump Jake, I buy this house, and now I have a place in Primrose Hill to stay when I'm home, that isn't my parents' house, and I'll have horses again." I chose not to disclose the fact that I would likely be destroyed if she didn't break up with Jake.

Cohen let out a heavy sigh. "As long as you know what you're doing. I just don't want you to buy this place for Farrah and Farrah alone. It should be for you."

"It is for me. Just a bonus if Farrah eventually ends up living in it too." I shrugged.

We talked for a little while longer, catching up on what we’d done over the holidays, before we ended the call. But Cohen's words stuck in my head for the rest of the day, making me second-guess if the connection I felt with Farrah was all in my head.

Chapter 12

Walker

5 Years Ago

I bought the property.

I put in an offer the day after I spoke to Cohen. It was accepted, and thirty days later, I officially closed. I was headed to spring training at the end of the week and planned to show Farrah the property before I left—what I hoped would eventually be our property. I also had a whole speech prepared to tell her exactly how I felt about her and what I wanted. I was going to fight for her this time.

With Addison back in Boston, Weston back in Virginia, and Ava in California for college, my mom met me out at the property so I could give her a tour of the place. When she stepped out of her car, her jaw immediately dropped before she even closed her door. "Wow, Walk! This place is incredible!"

I couldn't help the proud grin that took up my face. "Isn't it? I can't wait to get a couple of horses out here. Come check out the house first, and then I'll show you the barn." I walked my mom through the large house. She was enamored with the large windows that framed the rolling hills, the clean lines complemented with homey touches, and was absolutely obsessed with my kitchen and the massive quartz island that could easily accommodate our large family.

After we toured the barn and the guest house, which was essentially a smaller carbon copy of the main house, we made our way back to my kitchen. I leaned my elbows against the counter. "So I was thinking Farrah could help design and furnish the place. The house obviously doesn't need any work since it’s new, but I don't have a clue how to furnish or decorate it. With me leaving for spring training at the end of the week, it would give her plenty of time before I get back."

My mom smiled and nodded. "That's a great idea, I'm sure she would love that. So, I take it you and Farrah are friends again?"

I wasn't about to tell my mom that, no, I was still in love with Farrah, and I was pretty sure she was still in love with me too. That this property was actually for her, and by asking her to design it, I thought she could make it her own. "Yeah, we’re good."

"That's good to hear, but how do you feel about the big news?" My mom looked at me cautiously, causing a large knot of uncertainty to form deep in my gut.

"What big news?" I asked as my heart rate kicked up to a worrisome level. I was surprised my mom couldn't hear it beating against my ribs.

My mom's eyes fell to the countertop, where her fingers traced along the smooth surface. "Liz called me yesterday. Farrah got engaged over the weekend—on Valentine's Day." She almost whispered the last part, or I thought she whispered, because I couldn't hear her very well over the rush of blood to my ears. I stood there, frozen, in complete shock.

It was all happening again.

My breathing felt labored, my heart slammed against my chest, and I felt like a panic attack was edging its way in.

I was such an idiot.

None of it made sense. How could we have the night we had, spend the last month and a half together, and she have said the things she said about Jake, to then turn around and fucking agree to marry him?

My mom sat patiently as I processed her news, a look of concern in her eyes. She reached out and placed her hand over mine. "I'm sorry, Walker." She continued to try to comfort me and say all the right things, but I couldn't hear any of it; all I could hear were Farrah's words. The longer we’re together, the more I see big differences between us. I scrubbed a hand down my face, continuing to play that Christmas Eve night on a loop in my head. I'm just not sure what to do or if this will work. Sometimes I think we’re just too different.