Page 52 of My Orc Package Deal

“Oh, dkaar.” My chest tight with the need to care for her, I reached for Kesha, pulling her into my arms as I stood.

She stirred, pressing her cheek against my chest. “Korrad?” she murmured sleepily.

“Hush.” I carried her through the sunroom and toward the back deck. “I’ve got you. I’ll always have you.”

Always.

I wasn’t sure why I settled on the couch out on the porch, other than I’d always loved the view out here, and the air was still cool from the storm which had never materialized. There was a bit of a breeze that made a summer evening manageable to a male raised in the snowy mountains.

Without releasing Kesha, I settled her on my lap, adjusting my hold to support her against my chest. I could tell she was awake—her breathing was too fast—but her eyes were still closed, her forehead pressed against my shoulder.

“You hungry?” I ran my palm down her spine. “I brought carby goodness.”

Her snort was watery, as if she’d gone back to crying. “You’re the best.”

“I know.”

“No, I mean it.” She suddenly jerked her head up, and would have fallen off my lap had I not grabbed her as she was staring wide-eyed at me, tears running down her cheeks. “You are the best, Korrad!” Her fingers curled around my shirt as she hiccupped. “Don’t you get it? You’re the best, and I’m just⁠—”

Her nonsensical words broke off with a sob, and she buried her face against my shoulder once more. My shirt was going to be soaked by the time this was done, wasn’t it?

I just kept rubbing her back, confused by her words.

“Dkaar, it’s just Chinese food.”

“It’s not just Chinese food,” she hiccupped, not looking up. “Not just the Chinese food. It’s that you thought to get it, thought why you should get it.”

Her shoulders were shaking with the force of her sobs, and I hated to think she might have cried this hard earlier without me here to hold her. I wrapped my other arm around her. “Are you hungry right now?”

She’d probably throw up if she tried, which is why I was relieved when she sobbed, “Not really.”

I exhaled. “Okay then. Let’s just sit here for a little bit.”

And cry.

“You always know what I need,” she wailed, launching into another heaving sob-fest.

My heart was breaking for her, but I couldn’t think of anything to do other than just hold her and whisper loving words. Sharra used to break down like this, but I’d quickly learned hers had been manipulative, not genuine. I’d never seen Kesha lose control so thoroughly, and knew she was hiding genuine pain.

Eventually, she hiccupped to a stop, and I loosened my hold on her.

“I’m sorry.” I pressed a kiss to her hair, loving the way it cushioned my lips. “I wish I could help.”

“You have helped. You keep helping. That’s it.” With a deep, shuddering breath, Kesha pushed herself up, using the palms of her hands to wipe her eyes. “I’m the one who is sorry. Everything I do—” She cut herself off with a sound that was part laugh, part sob. “I ruined your shirt, Korrad. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything!”

This last wail—a horrible, sharp, unresolved note, a dissonance of helplessness—was so hopeless, my Kteer howled in frustration. She needed me, and I didn’t know how to help her.

Well, there was one thing…

I shifted her forward, then reached for the hem of my t-shirt and pulled it off over my head. “Here.” I offered it to her. “A little tears and snot won’t hurt it.”

That watery laugh again, as she pressed the material to her eyes. “You always know exactly what to do.”

No, I wanted to tell her. I often feel like I’m just floundering through life. But it was easier to flounder around with her.

I exhaled, settled her back against me, and tipped my head back against the cushions to watch the sky. The crickets had started up with their strange rhythms that somehow became a melody. The sun had sunk over the mainland behind us, the sky turning brilliant pinks and purples. The sunsets here on Eastshore were different from the mountains, but no less beautiful.

But Eastshore had something the mountains didn’t have.