Page 4 of Kisses Behind the Spotlight

My chest rose and fell in ragged breaths as claustrophobia tightened its grip around me. It felt like the walls closed in on me, and the air thinned as panic consumed me. I had struggled with claustrophobia since I was ten years old, so I knew what would come next if I didn’t calm myself down. My breathing splintered into frantic gasps as I struggled with the stubborn doorknob. It felt like my chest seized and something snatched the air from my lungs.

All rationale dissipated; I wasn’t going to make it out of that closet. I slid down the dark wall, colliding with the carpeted floor as I choked on each breath. It had been years since I was in a situation that triggered my claustrophobia. I purposely avoided anything that would result in the feelings I experienced on that dark closet floor. On the rare occasion I had to do something that might trigger my claustrophobia, I’d have the Xanax on deck.

My palms fell flat against the rough nylon fibers as I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. Just before I felt like I was about to take a trip over the cliff, the closet door swung open. I breathed a sigh of relief that Xain came back before the full panic attack consumed me. I bulldozed over him to escape the closet, my emotions still all over the place because I didn’t know if he would try that shit again.

“Yo tough ass in this bitch cryin’? You probably just ruined my fuckin’ marriage!” Xain scolded me. “Put some shoes on.”

“I don’t care. Don’t come near me!” I exploded, my breathing evening out. “I’m claustrophobic, and you… you just locked me in a dark closet!”

“If you wouldn’t have made it seem like we fuckin’ ‘round, maybe that wouldn’t have happened!” Xain took another step towards me.

“Do not walk up on me if you don’t want to get fucked up,” I shouted, scanning the room for something that I could pick up to defend myself. There were so many unregulated emotions coursing through me. Fear, relief, angst, and above all else, incredulity surged through me as I thought about the audacity Xain had to lock my grown ass in a tiny hotel closet!

His long legs stepped closer, and his arm extended in my direction.

CRASH!

I snatched up the decorative vase from the nightstand and smashed it across Xain’s head.

AGHHHH!

He groaned, his left hand instinctively grabbing the gash that was leaking blood. Xain’s eyes fluttered for a few seconds before squinting shut. His mouth dropped open in the perfect O while his breathing became heavy. I watched in amusement as shock and confusion washed over Xain’s face.

“Yeah, I did. Try me again nigga!” I mumbled.

My heart was still pounding, and the palms of my hands became sweaty as I focused on Xain, waiting for any movement towards me so I could pounce. He was going to have to fight for his life if he thought he would shove me in that closet again.

“Xain!” Vincent’s voice shouted through the door before thunderous knocks sounded off in the room.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Standing back up straight, Xain hobbled over to the door, swaying with each hurried step, touching the side of his head every few seconds. Xain was probably disoriented from the head injury, and he deserved nothing less. Trickles of blood fell to the floor, staining the carpet with each stumbled step.

“Good for his devilish ass,” I mumbled to myself just before he swung the door open.

When my auntie came into view, relief swept through me, and the frantic urge to fight dissipated. Throughout my life, my mom had always been my number one protector, but my auntie came in a close second. While in my auntie’s presence, I always knew I was safe.

“Khaleesi, are you okay in here?” My auntie fretted, brushing past Xain and his leaking head to look for me.

“Auntie?” I squealed, rushing into the living room where they were. Without hesitating, I melted into my auntie’s chest, desperate to feel her energy to help regulate my emotions.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” Vincent’s voice filled the room.

“You told me not to be a dickhead when it came to her, and let me tell you where it got me,” Xain shouted back, pointing at the blood seeping from the side of his head.

His victim spiel had me fired up again, and I quickly abandoned my comfort zone. “I told you not to walk up on me if you didn’t want to get fucked up,” I shouted, lunging at him, but my auntie pulled me back.

“Fuck her, and I’m not staying here with her, so you gotta figure this shit out. Salena bust up in here because some gossiping ass bitch that works here saw me coming in when me and Stepp switched shifts this morning. She thinks I’m in here cheating, and I try to explain the truth, but that bitch go to acting like we fucking!” Xain detailed. He was furious. Veins popped out of his neck as he pointed towards me, while his eyes remained locked on Vincent.

My auntie released her grip on me and went into the bathroom to retrieve a rag and wet it with cold water as we bickered. Folding my arms across my chest, I voiced my rebuttal.

“You want me to help you after being rude as fuck since I been here? You out yo damn mind! When you told me to get in the car, I thought you were taking me to my auntie. Not to be held hostage here. On top of that, he made me eat cup noodles today because that’s what his po’ ass brought to eat for lunch! Do I look like a cup noodles type of bitch?” I shouted, leaning forward slightly with my hand flat on my chest. The absolute nerve emanating off Xain was astounding. “You should’ve let me order food from the restaurant and taken me to my auntie if you wanted me to help you out of a pickle.”

My auntie walked up on Xain, handing him the wet rag to place on the side of his bloody head. Xain glared at me as the blood soaked the crisp white rag. If looks could kill, I’d probably be dead, so I returned a menacing, venomous scowl to let Xain know the feeling was mutual. Thinking about the heart palpitations I experienced when he locked me into the closet, I spun around and slapped my ass. “I’ll give you something to look at!” I sassed.

“Fuck this, give me my keys!” Xain demanded.

They swapped keys, and Xain paused, glaring daggers at me for a moment. I cocked my head to the side and batted my eyelashes at him. Xain huffed and stormed out of the hotel room, blood-soaked rag pressed to the side of his head.