Page 64 of Finn

I glanced at him. “We’re here,” he stated, indicating my apartment building.

“Right.” I stepped out, taking my bag from the driver. Finn watched me, not getting out of the car. Unsure what to do, I began to walk to the door, tears filling my eyes. Then I heard him call my name, and I turned, seeing him behind me. He grabbed me, bringing me flush to his body and holding me.

“We’ll get through this, mo chroí. I swear it.”

But even I heard the doubt in his voice.

He stood, ensuring I walked into the building, then I watched as his car pulled away, feeling as if my entire world had just disappeared.

I headed upstairs, entering my apartment. It smelled musty, and I got busy, emptying the garbage and the fridge, glad I hadn’t been shopping before I left. There were only a few soft grapes and a mushy cucumber to toss. The sour milk, I poured down the drain. My plants were a little droopy, so I watered them and hoped they’d bounce back. I unpacked, my body on autopilot as I did. The new clothes Finn had purchased for me, I put away, the sadness bearing down on me. I paused as I ran my hand over the softness of a sweater.

Would he ever see me wear it?

I sat down, my shaky legs not able to keep me on my feet.

Would Finn kill Brian? Was my brother on drugs? Was he doing what Finn suspected?

I rubbed my aching head. In Finn’s world, there was only black and white. Obedience was expected. Loyalty was demanded. You stepped out of line, you knew the consequences.

I sighed as a tear slipped down my cheek. I knew that—and so did Brian. Finn was right, and I had always coddled my brother. Took his side.

I still remembered the older brother who was sweet and funny. Who taught me how to skate. Held my hand the first day of school when I was afraid. Comforted me at night if I woke up from a bad dream. He always brought me water and sat with me.

I wasn’t sure when our roles reversed. Probably when my mum died and I had to grow up fast. Help more with chores. Learn how to cook. After she passed, my dad left all that to me, and somehow I became the mother Brian had lost.

What, I wondered, would she tell me to do right now?

She always supported my dad. He used to say she was the glue that held the family together. That because of her, he was stronger. Was I strong enough to be that for Finn? To accept his decision and keep moving forward?

I wiped my face. I couldn’t answer that right now. I was too tired and drained.

And I needed to talk to my brother.

* * *

I went for a run, needing to stretch my legs and clear my head. There was a trail by my building and a small park, not as nice as the one that had been in my old neighborhood, but it was fine. I noticed a man walking toward me as I headed away from my building. He looked at me, his gaze focused intently on my face as I went by. He was older, his expression cold and removed. I felt a shiver run down my spine, and I had a feeling if I looked over my shoulder, he’d be staring at me, so I kept going, grateful when I went around the corner and spotted two other women running. I kept close to them, following them around the small park and veering off once I got close to my building again. I looked around as I slowed, feeling as if I was being watched, but I didn’t see anyone and I shook my head in annoyance at myself. I was tired and overwrought. One creep with a lingering glance was all it was. He probably leered at all the women. Inside, I stepped off the elevator, running into my neighbor.

“Hey, Emily.”

“Hi.”

“Um, didn’t you get my note?”

She frowned. “Sorry?”

“About watering my plants while I was gone?”

“I did, but I saw Brian in the hall, so I assumed he was doing it.”

I was confused. “Brian moved out a few weeks ago.”

“Oh.” She scratched her chin. “I was sure I saw him coming out of the apartment, but maybe I was mistaken. He’d probably dropped over to say hi and he was walking away. Oh God, are the plants okay?”

“They’re fine. I only buy the hardy ones,” I assured her.

“Okay, great. Sorry for the mix-up.”

“No problem.”