Page 80 of A Simple Life

“It is. Farmer John told me.”

I met his amused eyes. “I was explaining it to her. How we reuse things other people would think are useless.”

“Like cow shit,” Abby said again. “It’s better than pig shit because of cooties.”

“E. coli,” John corrected gently.

“That’s what I said. Farmers make shit useful. It’s good for the envir-envir… What is it, Farmer John?”

“Environment.”

“Yes. Most people don’t know that, Momma. But us farmers do.”

I tamped down my chuckle and put on a straight face. “You call it manure, Abby. Not cow shit. That can be considered a bad word.”

She scratched her nose. “Like asshole? Farmer John says some of the men in town are assholes and about as useless as pig shit. I mean, manure.” She turned to John. “Is it still manure if it’s pig shit, Farmer John?”

He was looking everywhere but at me, and I knew he was trying not to laugh. “Yes, it is.”

She looked thoughtful. “So, some shit is better than others.”

“That pretty much sums it up.” John made a funny noise, stood, and cleared his throat. “I’m going to go take that shower.”

And like a coward, he hurried down the hall. He barely got the bedroom door shut before I heard him start to laugh.

With a sigh, I sat down and explained to my daughter why some of the things Farmer John muttered needed to be kept at home.

“You don’t use those words in public with strangers and other people, Abby.”

She looked at me as if I were crazy. “I know that, Momma. But we’re at home. And Farmer John says we can be ourselves at home and say what’s on our mind.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Well, your mind needs to think polite words, young lady.”

She stood. “Farmers have different ways of thinking, Momma. I’m a farmer now. You better become one too so you get it.”

And she walked down the hall.

For a moment, I was in shock. Then I went outside, around the corner, and I laughed.

I decided Farmer John needed a good talking-to.

Dinner was interesting. John looked everywhere but at me, trying not to laugh. I’d given him a fast dressing-down while he’d stood in the shower, the water sluicing over his shoulders and back. He’d continued to soap himself up, trying to look abashed but failing.

“It’s kinda funny, Quinn. No one would take offense here.”

“Not the point.”

“Jesus, she is smart. She said it best. Some shit is better than others.”

“Stop laughing.”

“You wanna come in here and let me apologize?”

“No!”

He grinned. “I’d make you forget about manure.”

I turned and headed back to the kitchen.