Page 36 of Horsemen and Hot Chocolate

“It is not so easy,” he said. “All these years of loneliness… due to an act of cowardice. The witch did not spare me from anything that wouldn’t have befallen me in Sleepy Hollow. No one will accept me.”

“I will.”

He turned toward her, and she sensed the mixed emotions emanating from his still form.

Katrina took another step, closing the distance between them. “I will be by your side. I will hold your hand and call you mine.”

He inhaled a sharp breath. She froze, wide-eyed at the confession that slipped so naturally from her lips.

“Katrina…”

Her name echoing in his chest sent a pleasant swarm of butterflies vaulting up her throat. Heat warmed her neck and face, but she did not regret her words. She would stand by what she said and pray he felt the same.

However, the truth opened her heart to share more vulnerable truths she hadn’t confessed to anyone else. She exhaled a long sigh as the sting of the old wound pricked before she opened her mouth.

“I carry shame with me as well,” she said, trembling. “I told you I wanted closure with my brother, but I’ve never shared why. I was upset the day he left for war with my father. I felt I was losing two of the most precious people in the world and couldn’t understand why he’d willingly leave me. Instead of saying goodbye… I…”

Her throat clamped down with tears.

“Katrina—”

Looking heavenward, she whispered, “I told him I wished he would never come back. I told him I hoped he died in battle and never returned. That it would be better if he gave up his life if he was going to leave me. I… condemned him. I was the one to foretell his fate, and it happened.”

Her rising sobs swallowed the words. The drawing and map fluttered to the ground, and his warm arms enveloped her before she could blink. He crushed her against him, and she clung back just as fiercely. The cries flowed from her aching heart.

“So, you see?” she asked between hiccups. Glancing up, the shimmer of his face appeared before her. A slight smile curved on her lips. “I also bear guilt. So, let us confront it once and for all.”

A strong hand cradled her cheek as softly as a whisper. As if he were afraid he might shatter her with his gentle touch. His thumb wiped the tears away, and in the hazy image of his face, she saw the mutual grief, shame, and compassion in his eyes.

The wind stirred, whisking the leaves around them in a coaxing dance. At last, he nodded.

“Very well. Let us go together.”

Autumn’s frigid air bit against Katrina’s nose as they rode. The moonlight glowed like a shining opal in the night sky, lighting their way. The wind howled around them, beating against her frozen cheeks, but Katrina had never felt safer than she did in Willem’s arms. By his estimation, it would take them around two hours to reach White Plains, depending on how many breaks Inferno would need.

However, Inferno rode strong and only required two breaks. Katrina imagined the curse affected him too, for he raced like a wild demon upon the roads.

As the minutes ticked down to more than an hour, her stomach clenched with a strange mix of fear and anticipation. It had been fourteen years she imagined this moment—imagined all the things she’d say to her brother—but she dreaded it wouldn’t be enough. She still wouldn’t find the peace she sought.

However, the arms around her reminded her that she wasn’t alone. No matter what happened, they would be there to support one another.

At long last, Inferno stopped, and a tremor ran through Willem as he helped her down.

“We’re here,” he said gravely.

Her heart burst into a drumming frenzy as she took in the battlefield. Nearby, the river stirred, its waters lapping against muddy embankments. Trees swayed in the breeze, and long, golden grass grew over the vague shapes of rifle pits and trenches. Patches of shrubbery and trees dotted the hill. Katrina stepped forward, and her slipper bumped into a rusty musket ball. As much as nature attempted to reclaim the gruesome battle of smoke and blood, remnants of the violence remained.

Despair ached in her chest. She took in every detail, noting the patches of grass that hadn’t grown right, the broken pieces of bayonets glinting in the moonlight, and the unmarked graves. Her heart crashed to a halt.

Her legs moved of their own accord. Breath heaving, she raced to the graves with a cold, hard lump in her throat.

Her knees hit the frigid ground, and her hands felt the earth where her brother might be buried. The blades of frosted grass tangled between her fingers. Rows of wooden crosses were scattered around her. Somewhere beneath her, her brother’s bones lay. It was the closest she had been to him in fourteen years. After all this time, she finally found him.

Tears sprang to her eyes.

“Oh, Johannes,” she cried, wrapping her arms around her midsection. “I’m here now. I’m here. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she muttered over and over. The swell of tears held a new, raw relief she hadn’t felt in over a decade. Yet, the pain still rocked her to her core.

Katrina’s tears dotted the ground. “I don’t hate you. I’m sorry for those awful words I said. I was scared… and angry that you were leaving me. But I’ve regretted it every day since. I pray you know that I love you with all my heart. And I hope,” she choked on the word, “you did not suffer.”