Page 70 of Firefly Embers

Everyone insisted on a quiet night at the big house for my homecoming. Stella made a lasagna that rivaled Ma’s, and she had picked up a small cake to celebrate Max’s, Charlie’s, and my birthdays, since I hadn’t been there for the first celebration.

Charlie was more than happy to indulge in more cake; after all, what two-year-old wouldn’t be?

Surrounded by my family, I couldn’t have been more at peace.

With my girl in my lap, my brother and his wife happily married and expecting a second baby, my niece playing with toy horses on the floor, and Pops content to watch all the chaos erupt around him, nothing felt more right.

I knew I still had a long way to go, and lots of groveling for the way I’d treated my family, but I’d take things one day at a time.

“Mass Da! Bad word,” Charlie scolded as Max dug in the back of his jeans for his wallet, grabbing one of the bills from a thick stack between the leather. I cocked an eyebrow in his direction in silent question.

“I started keeping a stack of ones in my wallet because I can’t seem to break the habit.” He chuckled as Charlie grabbed the dollar from between his outstretched fingers and put it in the tiny pocket of her little Wranglers. That girl was going places.

I shook my head with a gentle laugh as she went back to playing with her toys, unfazed at how easily she’d swindled a dollar from my brother.

I took note of the number of things the little girl had spread around the living room. Building blocks were haphazardly stacked along the fireplace mantel, tiny shoes were thrown in the foyer as if taking the time to put them right side up was too much work, and a pile of tiny laundry sat on one end of the sofa.

What should have made me feel like an outsider in my own home instead gave me the confidence to broach a long overdue conversation. I cleared my throat, garnering the attention of everyone in the room.

Ray looked down at me and cocked her own eyebrow in question. I winked back at her, and she smiled, trusting me implicitly with whatever scheme I had up my sleeve.

“I wanna talk with y’all about something real quick,” I started, making sure everyone was paying attention. Every set of eyes in the room was trained on me, and I breathed slowly, fighting the gnawing anxiety that started to build, realizing I was the center of everyone’s attention.

Ray’s hand found mine, and she squeezed gently three times, effectively slowing my heart rate.

“I know we really haven’t had a chance to talk about it much, but I wanted to run something by you two,” I said, my eyes darting to Max and Stella. Max nodded softly, and Stella’s head tilted in a questioning gaze.

“I think it’s time I moved out.”

“What?” Max asked as if it was the most absurd suggestion in the world. The two of us had only ever had each other growing up, often sharing a room not out of necessity, but desire.

We were thick as thieves, and even though the thought of living apart filled me with a little trepidation, it was time that he and Stella had a space to build their own family.

“You’re having another baby, and I think it’s time I stood on my own two feet.” Ray squeezed my hand in silent solidarity as a proud smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

“But where will you go?” he asked, and I sensed a small amount of anxiety building in his voice.

“I own the back ten acres of the ranch, just as you own the other ten. I always figured when the time was right that we’d build houses side by side and raise our families together. But there’s no need for you to uproot the home you’ve built here with your wife and daughter.”

I could see Pops nodding from the armchair in the corner of the room in silent solidarity. I had talked with him before I left for the treatment center about the possibility of building on that land, and he’d been overwhelmingly supportive.

I knew it was the right time.

Max and Stella deserved to have a space that was wholly theirs, where they could raise their kids without their Uncle Wade and his girlfriend hanging around.

“So, you’re going to build on the back half of the ranch?” Max asked, putting the pieces together. Stella’s hand found his just as Ray’s had found mine in support.

Both of us were lucky to have found the best women. Each ‌of them complemented us in ways that we could only dream of.

“That’s the plan. I’ve got some savings built up from rodeo events, even after footing the bill for the treatment facility. I haven’t used any of it over the last couple of years, as the money from training sessions was plenty to keep things running around here. I haven’t had a chance to reach out to builders about costs and timeline, but I’m sure we can find something that works around our schedules.”

Max’s hand softly went to the tiny swell of Stella’s belly where she was growing their child. The love that passed between them was hard to miss as my brother looked at his woman as if she hung the moon and the stars. I knew that look because I imagined it was the same unfiltered bliss that passed across my face when I looked at Ray.

“We can be flexible. Even if it means things will be tight around here for a little bit until construction on your place is finished.” His smile was tight-lipped, and I could tell that this was going to be tough for both of us, but we’d only be a stone’s throw or ATV ride away from each other. “I’m proud of you, brother.”

Tears welled up on my lower eyelashes, and I blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. Crying about my trauma in the confines of a therapist’s office was one thing. Sitting in front of my entire family and the girl I loved while I became a blubbering mess was another.

“Fuck, brother,” I choked out as the words caught in my throat through the emotions I was desperately trying to keep at bay.