Page 43 of Firefly Embers

“Later, baby. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

She huffed in annoyance as she toyed with the hair at the nape of my neck. She rested her head in the center of my chest, fighting to regain a normal breathing pattern, and I kissed her crown with tenderness.

“I hate you, Wade Daniels.”

“Sure, you do, Sunshine. Remember that later when my head’s between those pretty thighs making you scream my⁠—”

A throat clearing behind us had our attention shooting toward the barn doors. We had been so lost in each other that we hadn’t heard them slide open.

Clearly, Pops was the world’s biggest cockblock as he stood, arms crossed, with a huge shit-eating grin plastered across his face. I’m sure he loved the sight of me and Ray together.

Our entire family had been rooting for the two of us to finally shit or get off the pot for as long as I can remember.

“As much as I’m sure Miss Cortez would love to hear you finish that sentence, your last trainee of the day just got here, and Sterling called,” he announced gruffly.

Pops sounded and acted like the weathered cowboy who couldn’t give a damn, but I’d never seen anyone with a bigger heart, except for Ma.

“Thanks, Pops, I’ll be out in a second.”

“If it only takes a second, son, you ain’t doin’ it right,” he called over his shoulder as he retreated from the barn. I groaned and rested my head on Ray’s as she chuckled. She wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed the side of my neck gently.

“I’m sorry, baby. This week has been a lot, and I’ve been running myself ragged trying to get things lined up,” I said as I peered down at her. She smiled gently and cupped my cheek, her thumb coasting across my lips.

I nipped at the pad of her finger, and she yelped lightly and then laughed.

Making Ray smile and laugh was the best medicine for a tough week.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asked.

I didn’t want to jinx anything or talk myself out of my plan, but since it affected her just as much, I figured I needed to fill her in. I looked down at my watch, checking to make sure I had a little bit of time before my next session.

I had about twenty minutes to spare, and I could call Sterling back later, so I took a step back and reached out my hand to take hers.

“Walk with me?” I asked, a small smile kicking up one edge of my mouth.

“Anywhere,” she responded.

If there was ever a second of doubt between us, she could wash it away with a single word. I knew that no matter what happened, where I went, or what I did, Ray would selflessly put herself second to my happiness. Which is why I needed to put her first and do this for the both of us.

Walking past the stables and out to the far reaches of the main section of the ranch only took a couple of minutes. We weren’t far enough away to avoid all the hustle and bustle of ranch activity, but there was a small outcropping of trees that could provide a little shade and a quiet place to talk.

Once we were under the shade of the large oak trees, I sat down, leaning my back against the time-weathered trunk. I spread my legs and patted the dirt in front of me for Ray to sit with her back against my chest.

Once she was settled, I wrapped my arms around her and nestled my chin on her shoulder.

“I’m going to be leaving for a little bit,” I said, choosing to just cut to the chase. Neither Ray nor I ever minced words when it came to tough news, but we especially didn’t pussyfoot around when it came to each other’s feelings. We were always open and honest with each other, even if we were closed off to everyone else.

“Okay…” she remarked hesitantly, waiting for me to continue.

There was something so calming about the way she didn’t press me for more information. She didn’t jump to conclusions or expect me to say something; she just gave me the space I needed to process the thoughts and emotions swirling around in my fucked-up mind.

“There’s a treatment facility in Ember Ridge that I’ve been looking into.” I pulled out the now barely decipherable business card from my back pocket and placed it in her palm.

She turned it over, squinting to read the information. I didn’t need the card to recite every word that had once been printed there. I’d turned it over time and time again, willing myself to reach out a hand like I so desperately wanted to, needing to grab hold of something to pull me from the depths of this darkness.

Ray threaded her fingers with mine as I continued. “It’s an inpatient treatment facility that specializes in trauma, addiction, and rehab. They have a dedicated treatment course that focuses on PTSD. It’s a thirty-day program, and they’re holding a spot for me.”

A heavy sigh crested my lips as I felt the weight of sharing this float off my shoulders. Needing help and accepting it were two completely different beasts. I knew I needed ‌help but reaching out to ask for it had been excruciating. It had taken me three hours, four hang-ups, and a shot of whiskey just to call and inquire about a space.