Page 149 of Lyric & the Heartbeats

“I wondered who you guys would send to see if I was okay.”

“Who were you betting on?” Javi asked with a sad smile.

She shrugged. “I didn’t have a bet.”

“If you want me to leave, the answer is no, according to Henry. But I can pretend to give you some privacy by hanging out over here.” He leaned against a tree several feet away, one sneaker cocked against the trunk, arms crossed.

Lyric crossed her arms with a huff, resting her arms on her knees with a huff. No matter how quiet Javi was, his presence was loudest of all.

As delicious as he looked looming against the tree like a dark specter…

“If you’re going to hang out here you might as well get over here. But I don’t want to talk. Just sit with me?” she asked and patted the grass next to her.

“If you’re sure,” he said, a smile creeping along the edge of his lips.

She nodded, and he sank to the ground elegantly despite his size.

He leaned against the other side of the tree, and she eyed his palm resting against the ground before rolling her eyes at herself. Reaching a few inches over, she threaded their fingers together. Relief filled her, and she once again wondered if it was her pesky omega senses at work. Why did she feel so relaxed when Javi was around? Because he was an alpha? Or because he was Javi?

“Ever since I was little, I was pretty much groomed to be the perfect omega,” she began, even though she’d said she didn’t want to talk. But the words spilled out of her, and she didn’t have the strength to stop them. Maybe she didn’t want to stop them. It was about time she came clean with someone, right?

“My mom was a beta. She wanted to be an omega… like her sister. Wanted nothing more than to be waited on hand and foot. Loved the idea of not working, letting someone else take care of her. I think she was jealous of my aunt, of the life she was living as an omega with a proper pack, and once we found out I was an omega…” Lyric took a deep breath. “She pushed all her dreams on me, tried to prepare me to be the perfect little omega. But I hated all of it.

“I’m old enough now to imagine that she was doing it out of love, or some weird motherly instinct. She wanted the best for me, and in her mind, the best was having a pack to take care of her.

“But it just made me feel trapped. I hated learning about being an omega, hated the thought that I was expected to sit around and wait for an alpha to decide he wanted to whisk me away to a life of luxury, where I had no choice but to accept because I was lucky to be picked.”

Javi sucked at his teeth and tightened his hand around hers.

“Any time I brought up music or school, getting a job, or doing… anything, I was shot down and told that omegas didn’t need those kinds of things because that was the job of an alpha.” A bitter laugh tumbled from her lips to shatter the silence around them. “She once told me maybe I’d be lucky enough to find an alpha to write songs about me. It didn’t matter that I wanted to write my own damned songs.”

A low whistle came from Javier. “Pajarita… damn. I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged, though she didn’t know if he saw her or not. She was trying her best not to look at him, because she feared if she saw even an ounce of understanding in his eyes, the lump in her throat would crack and spill out of her eyes.

“I never asked for this. And I’m tired of trying to meet expectations that were never fair in the first place.” Lyric’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I hate being an omega.”

Javier’s fingers squeezed hers so tight she almost protested, but then he relaxed and brushed his thumb over the back of her hand.

“Is it possible…” He paused. The nightlife around them chirped and buzzed to fill the silence.

“No, don’t stop. What is it?” she prompted.

“I was raised in a big family, well, bigger than most I suppose. I have an omega sister and she… my madré…” He sighed, struggling to put the words in the right order. “Is it possible that all those things you hate about being an omega were actually just things you hated about your mom’s version of being an omega?”

The words landed like a physical blow, and she was struck silent.

Javi mistook her silence for anger, and he kept speaking softly. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s different for every pack, but for the most part, the omega is the one that holds all the power. An alpha just wants to make his pack happy, and the omega is the heart of the pack. If you’re not happy, no one is. So, in my mind, you tell us to jump, we say how high.”

Lyric’s heart raced. “But isn’t that… I mean, don’t you get a choice too?”

“Of course. But it’s natural to want to make you happy. That’s what makes us happy. That’s how packs work.”

“I guess I just struggle with accepting what is omega, and what is Lyric. Do you know what I mean?”

His brow furrowed, and his hand tightened on hers before he spoke. “I know what you mean. Try not to take this the wrong way, but it’s all the same. I just know we want to keep you safe. And happy. But mostly safe, even if it pisses you off. Try to understand where Henry and the others are coming from.”

“But what if what makes me happy is something you wouldn’t agree with?”