Page 5 of Shamefully Trained

Senator Hathaway ignored him. “Alexandra, did he force you?”

The question hung there. My skin prickled.

If I said yes, it would almost certainly become a different scene, larger and uglier and impossible to contain. It might also save my job. If I said no, I would have to own every step that had brought me here: the flirting, the drink, the elevator, taking off my clothes when he told me to, kneeling when he told me to, opening my mouth, bending over his desk even while tears blurred everything. I would also, it seemed, be unemployed.

I heard myself say, “No.”

Hathaway nodded once, as if some ledger had balanced. “Then you made a spectacularly bad decision.”

My eyes stung. “Yes, Senator.”

Gowry leaned one hip against the sideboard and drank his water. “She can recover from it. If she’s sensible.”

I hated him then in a clean, brilliant way that was almost relief. It cut through the shame for a second. “You don’t get to tell me what sensible is.”

The silence after that felt dangerous.

Hathaway’s gaze sharpened. Gowry smiled slowly.

“That’s the spirit,” he said.

I realized too late that I had given him exactly what he wanted: not meekness, not tears, but resistance. Something to press on. Something he wanted to shape.

Hathaway seemed to realize it too. “Enough,” she said, and this time both of us obeyed.

She walked toward me, stopping close enough that I caught the faint scent of her perfume under the sharper notes of the office, sex and leather and my own humiliation. She lowered her voice.

“Can you stand up straight?”

I did, though it hurt and I knew she saw the flinch.

“Can you compose yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Then do it.”

I made my hands stop shaking by force, then reached to fasten my blouse. I smoothed my hair back behind my shoulders. I felt like a child pretending to be an adult after some catastrophic mistake, but by the end of it I could at least look less wrecked than I felt.

Hathaway turned to Gowry. “Whatever leverage you think you’ve gained, I can assure you it doesn’t exist. Alexandra here may not work for me after tonight, but that doesn’t mean you can continue to prey upon her.”

Gowry set his glass down. “You don’t own everyone who works for you, Frances.”

“No. But I do notice when one of my former staffers leaves a reception with a senator who enjoys proving points.”

He laughed softly. “You always did object most to methods that weren’t yours.”

I didn’t understand all of that, not really, but I understood enough to wish very badly that I didn’t exist in the room while they said it.

Hathaway looked at me again. “Did anyone see you come up here?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

“Joe…” I glanced over at Gowry. “One of his staffers… I think he knew the senator invited me up.”

Her mouth tightened. “Of course he did.”