Page 146 of Beasts of Mine

“You’re being weird.” I told Tavian as I let the camera rest against my chest, studying the unusual stillness in his posture while he rolled a torn strip of leaf between his fingertips.

“I’m sitting.” Tavian glanced over at me and attempted a smile, but it disappeared too quickly to convince me there wasn’t something else behind the silence.

“You’re sitting quietly.” I narrowed my eyes at Tavian and let the camera strap settle more comfortably around my neck, waiting for the explanation he clearly wasn’t planning to volunteer.

“I can do that.” Tavian defended himself as he tore another narrow strip from the leaf, although his attention returned immediately to his hands instead of me.

“I have evidence otherwise. What?” I set the camera carefully on top of my bag and moved closer, stepping around the damp edge of the stream before stopping beside the rock.

“Nothing.” Tavian rubbed the torn piece between his fingers and looked toward the water, his shoulders held a little tighter than they had been earlier. I waited without filling the silence for him. Water rushed somewhere beyond the trees, insects hummed around the stream, and Tavian lasted less than five seconds before his shoulders loosened.

“You said next time.” Tavian finally lifted his gaze toward me, and there was enough uncertainty in his face that the question no longer sounded casual. “You meant it?”

“Yes.” I frowned as I moved closer to the rock, wondering what part of my answer had left room for doubt. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Tavian gave one shoulder a small shrug and looked away again. The movement seemed wrong on someone who usually occupied whatever space he wanted without ever looking apologetic about it.

“Tavian.” I said his name more quietly and waited until his amber eyes returned to mine.

“Malek is easy to trust.” Tavian exhaled slowly and turned his gaze toward the waterfall again, resting both forearms across his raised knee.

“That sounded dangerously close to a compliment.” I sat on the neighboring section of stone, close enough that the toes of our boots nearly touched, letting a little humor into my voice without trying to turn the conversation into a joke.

“He is.” Tavian ignored the teasing, his thumb worrying at the edge of the leaf as he continued. “If he tells you he’ll do something, you know he’ll do it. If something goes wrong, he’s the person you want there.”

I stayed quiet and let Tavian take his time. His fingers never stopped moving even though the rest of him had gone almost completely still.

“And Luca makes things feel…” Tavian paused, his forehead creasing while he searched for the word he wanted. He eventually gave up with a frustrated movement of one hand. “Better, I guess. Food shows up. Things get fixed. He notices what people need.”

“And you?” I asked Tavian gently, already beginning to understand why my casual promise of another day had mattered so much.

“I make people laugh.” Tavian gave me a brief smile, but there was no amusement behind it.

“You do.” I told Tavian honestly, leaning one forearm against my thigh while I watched him.

“That’s kind of the problem.” Tavian rubbed both palms together once before resting them against his knees, his gaze dropping again. The uncertainty in his voice bothered me more than I expected. This was Tavian—the man who had spent the morning trying to steal my camera bag, handing me useless objects, arguing with an iguana, and defending the honor of his absurdly loud purr—and suddenly he couldn’t seem to decide what to do with his hands.

“I know I’m a lot.” Tavian finally looked at me, and for once there was no teasing anywhere in his face. “I talk too much. I can’t sit still. I get bored. I tease people when I probably shouldn’t. Half the time I do something and figure out whether it was a terrible idea afterward.”

“That last one is definitely true.” I let a little humor into my voice as I nudged the toe of his boot with mine, enough to show Tavian I wasn’t dismissing the rest just because one part was extremely accurate.

His mouth twitched, but he fell quiet again, rubbing his thumb slowly across one palm.

“But?” I prompted Tavian gently when he showed no sign of continuing on his own.

“Being fun is great when somebody wants a good day.” Tavian looked down at his hands as he spoke. “A trip. Someone to make them laugh. But when people start thinking about who they actually want around every day…” He paused before releasing a slow breath. “They usually want somebody they can depend on. Somebody who feels like home.”

Something tightened beneath my ribs. I moved from my section of rock to his and reached for his hand, threading our fingers together before he found something else to tear apart.

“You don’t have to fix it.” Tavian looked toward me quickly, tension crossing his face when my fingers closed around his. “I know you said you wanted all three of us to court you. I heard you. I’m not saying you didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” I squeezed Tavian’s hand and shifted until our shoulders nearly touched, keeping hold of him when his thumb started moving against mine.

“I just…” Tavian blew out a breath and looked toward the water again. “Sometimes I wonder if you’ll like me the whole time you’re here and still leave thinking I was the one you had fun with.”

“I am not ranking the three of you.” I reached for Tavian’s other hand and turned toward him until our knees touched, making it harder for him to stare at the waterfall instead of me.

“I know.” Tavian answered automatically, his fingers flexing against mine while uncertainty remained in his face.