Page 14 of How I Ruined Everything by Kissing My Roommate

The moment was heavy, the reality of my exposure to Sophie setting in. I couldn’t undo this; couldn’t forget the kiss or the night we’d spent together.

"So, what happens now?" Maya asked, pulling a coffee mug from my cabinet. “You kissed your roommate; the girl you’ve had a crush on for weeks.”

"I don't know," I said, remembering the frantic, consuming nature of the kiss. "She left me a note, saying we had some new ground to cover.”

"Okay, well, that's a good sign," Maya observed, pouring water into the kettle. "It means she’s still interested in you.”

“Of course, she is. She’s a positive and emotionally available person.”

Maya turned to me. “Yeah, she is, so don’t break her heart, Iris. You know what you have to do now, right?"

"Run away and live in the art studio?"

"No. You have to be vulnerable. You have to go on a date," Maya stated firmly. "No more avoidance. Go out, be awkward, and try new things. This is exactly what you need to forget Riley.”

I’d already forgotten Riley. Sophie was all I’d thought of for the last few weeks. But the idea of going on a date with her terrified me. Of course, I wanted to know her, but a date meant admitting permanence.

"I don't know how to do that," I whispered.

"Then, learn," Maya said, handing me the kettle. "I am rooting for you two.”

The coffee shop was loud and crowded, but the noise barely registered. I sat across from Sophie, nursing a black coffee, its bitterness familiar and comforting. It was late-evening, and time to have a talk about what happened last night. It was just Sophie and me, nowhere to hide. The truth was, I hadn't been this terrified since the moment I walked in on Riley. This felt like a second chance at devastation.

Sophie watched me, her gaze steady and patient. Her ankle, still wrapped, rested carefully on a chair pulled close to her. She didn't look like the untouchable golden girl, but like the sincere woman who had kissed me last night.

“I like you, Iris,” she began, direct as usual, startling my poor little heart into joy instantly. “I kissed you last night, and I’m not in the habit of kissing women I don’t like.” When I remained silent, she added, “Last night wasn’t accidental for me, so if you’re thinking you can deny it, you can drop the idea right now.” When I knitted my eyebrows together, she added, “I know you're fighting this. I can practically hear your defense mechanisms building barricades."

I flinched, recognizing the truth. "I’m not. I...I do admit I was a little disappointed when I found your bed empty.” Sophie smiled, and I realized she knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. “I meant it when I kissed you." The memory of the kiss, which still burned on my lips.

"Good," she said simply. "Because I did too. That's what we need to talk about. The kiss wasn’t accidental, which means it’s the start of something."

A future. Together. My mind was still too scared to process such a possibility. I remember thinking Sophie would be the ideal girlfriend a few weeks ago, but was I ready for that kind of commitment?

My roommate leaned forward, her expression intensely earnest. "I know what you're afraid of, Iris. You think this is going to be my experiment. That I'm going to get bored of you and go back to someone uncomplicated. And I get that fear. Riley hurt you in a fundamental way."

I stared into my coffee, unable to meet her gaze. "I can't do that again. I can’t be someone’s temporary mess."

"Then don't be," Sophie challenged, her voice firm. "Because you're not my temporary anything. I haven't been able to think straight since you moved in. I like your chaos, Iris. I liked the intensity in your eyes when we fought. I liked the way you slammed the door. I liked that you weren't intimidated by me, and I liked your art even when I didn't understand it. And I like the way you kiss after a fight. I still like all those things about you."

With every word, she was destroyed my well-built defenses. She was the sun, the light I couldn’t help but crave being around even if it burned me in the end.

She paused, then lowered her voice. " I liked you, even when I thought you were just the prickly roommate, but I like you even more now. It makes me want to fight for you. You’re not convenient, Iris Hart, but you’re what I want.”

She reached across the table, not to take my hand yet, but to rest her palm flat against the wood between us. "So, let's be clear. I want to date you, Iris. I want to spend time with you outside of Room 418. I want to be the woman who proves Riley was wrong about you. I want to be your first, your only choice, and I want you to be mine."

The directness of her admission—the desire to date, the explicit acknowledgment of my trauma, and the clear confession of her feelings—was overwhelming. It felt like the earth settling beneath my feet for the first time in a year. But it was the thing I liked the most about her. She was my opposite in every way, which is what drew me to her.

I looked at her, seeing the sincerity, the strength, and the quiet determination that defined her on the field, now directed entirely at me.

"All right," I whispered, the word feeling enormous. "Let’s date. I like you too, Sophie, though it might not be easy to express my feelings.”

Sophie smiled, a genuine, blinding flash of warmth. "That was easy, Hart. I thought I’d have to do a lot of convincing.”

Without hesitation, she reached across the table and firmly laced her fingers through mine. Her touch was warm, grounding, and absolutely certain.

I squeezed back, feeling a wave of unexpected lightness wash over me. The knot in my stomach finally dissolved, replaced by a quiet, steady rhythm. This was the start of something new, something risky that could potentially be life changing. The Golden Retriever and the Angry Artist. It was terrifying, and it was perfect.

The next day, I did something unusual and went to a college party with Sophie. It was like an unofficial coming out of our relationship, but we both stayed away from labelling it yet. Sophie watched me with her back pressed to the wall, drinking a beer, as people began to file in.