Page 33 of Coveted By Cupid

Doing as I was told, I locked it, leaning against the door and wondering what kind of man I got myself involved with.

CHAPTER TWELVE

BODEN

From the sidewalk outside her apartment, I can make out their shadows dancing on the ceiling in the dimly lit room. I see more than any man in my position can take without snapping.

At first, when she jumped into the Neanderthal’s arms, I assumed it was an act to make me jealous. No way would the girl I love be reckless with a man who screams trouble. Vanessa has always been careful with her actions. Sure, she rides a motorcycle, but that’s the extent of her irresponsible ways.

Witnessing her kiss another man was enough to bring me to my knees, but coming outside of the apartment complex to look up at her single bedroom window and seeing her topless and moving in a way that could only be her fucking him under her, is the final straw.

I have been patient with Vanessa after my royal screw-up with Riley, bringing her flowers, takeout, and love letters and leaving it all outside her door to soften my betrayal. And yet, none of it has done me any favors.

When gift-giving wasn’t working, I thought time would help. However, we’re a month in and she’s still icy toward me when I come into her orbit.

Desperate, I thought confronting her was my last option. I didn’t want to force her to have a conversation with me, but she wasn’t leaving me any choice, not after blocking me from contacting her everywhere else. I was certain if I told her of the mess I’m in, of what I’m required to do to pay my rent and afford my tuition, she would sympathize with my position, possibly even forgive me for my transgression.

Confiding in her would be a risk. I cringe to think of how Vanessa would react if she knew how many women have been taken because of me. Yet, if it meant getting her back, I’d consider it.

I had every intention of begging her for a second chance when I arrived at her place tonight, not caring how pathetic it made me, only to be greeted at her door by a man who looked more like a felon than the typical academia guys she went for.

Like a fool, I stood outside her door, ignoring the brute and thinking we still had a chance. His insults and warning would not chase me away, not even him busting my nose or shoving her underwear down my throat was a strong enough deterrent to make me tuck tail.

But something in me died seeing her in the arms of another man, kissing him in a way I’ve never experienced with her. My body moved down the stairs and out onto the street, but my heart was still beating on her threshold, battered and bleeding. And like a glutton for punishment, I watch her figure moving in a secret dance with a man who is not me.

The longer I watch, the angrier I get until my rage swallows me whole.

How dare she move on without me, as if I never existed? She traded me in for what, some street bruiser a decade older than us?

My mind can’t compute. I’m educated, I work hard, and I would give her the world if she’d let me. How is he an upgrade over me? What does he have that I don’t?

Cursing, I pace the sidewalk, glancing up at her window and praying he can’t outlast her, only to find they’re still going at it.

Part of me realizes I did this to myself. I should never have taken that sketchy ass job, sensing it was bad news from the start. Financial desperation had me looking the other way.

The boss and his crew of Russian underlings think I’m clueless about what’s really happening with the women I find for them. Do they honestly think I don’t watch the news or notice the missing faces of the women I hand-picked plastered all over the local newspapers warning students to stay vigilant and to walk in pairs or groups?

When the second woman I found for the Russian to recruit went missing, I confronted Riley. She told me to forget about the women, that questioning Kirill—our boss—would be bad for my health.

I read between the lines and tried to back out of the job, refusing to find another target. When two weeks passed without me delivering a recruit for one of their clients, Kirill sent his men after me. They broke into my apartment in the dead of night, roughed me up, put a hood over my head, and delivered me to Kirill at some rundown pole building on the outskirts of the industrial park in Fort Collins. There was another guy there, maybe a couple of years younger than me. His arms were restrained above his head, tethered to the beam. He was in worse shape than me, swollen all over his face.

Kirill got into my bubble, his putrid cigarette breath blowing across my face. “I’m disappointed in you, Boden. You showed such promise.”

He pointed to the restrained guy. “See this guy? He was once like you, recruiting women for business. Unfortunately, he went and found himself a conscience and stopped bringing us targets. I gave him a warning, and he ignored it. To save you from the same fate, you’re going to watch what we do with pretty faces like you two.”

And I watched in horror as man after man took turns on the poor fuck restrained to the beam, unable to do a thing about it.

The message hit home. I wouldn’t suffer the same fate. If they wanted a specific type of woman, I would find them the perfect match.

It doesn’t mean I’m not riddled with guilt. Some days I’m drowning in it.

Vanessa sensed the change in me, asking if I was okay. I’d brush her off, telling her I was stressed with school, bills, etc. I kept her at arm’s length, not wanting her to get involved with the shit I was stuck in. We’d fight, her arguing I was being distant and me complaining she was controlling.

She wasn’t controlling, though—she cared about me and what was happening between us. I was too scared to come clean, afraid I’d lose her.

I started going to the bars with my “friends,” at least that’s what I was telling her. Really, it was me and Riley scouting for potential recruits. Riley saw it as I was choosing her over Vanessa, and I let her. It was easier than explaining that I didn’t want this part of my life to touch my girlfriend.

Vanessa grew more withdrawn, focusing on her classes and internship. I told myself it was better this way, that she was safe from coming onto Kirill’s radar. But what was really happening was Vanessa was coming to terms with me being an unreliable partner and preparing for a life without me.