Page 44 of Liberated By the Logger

It takes all my self control not to bust a gut. The show’s about to get good.

“What are you talking about?” Gary asks, scratching his head then hissing where he must have rubbed the goose egg he got from the tree limb. “We have tons of shared interests?”

“I’m not talking about shared interests. If it was a shared interest, my needs would be fulfilled too, and not only yours.”

The guy is clueless. Gary looks skyward, his face all scrunched like he’s calculating something difficult in his head. “Uh, whaaat?”

“I’ll save you a few brain cells. Our bedroom life was dead—for me.”

“What? Nah. You’re wrong,” Gary argues.

“Name one time you got me off?” Aspen challenges, folding her arms across her chest and cocking her hip.

Hell, I love it when she gets bitchy. It’s a major turn-on seeing her put Gary in his place.

“There was that one time I did what you asked,” Gary says dismissively, proving her point he gave squat about her satisfaction.

My eyes bulge. “One time?!”

My poor woman. To make up for her ex’s lack of attention, I will never leave her unsatisfied. Aspen is a queen and her body deserves to be worshipped like one.

“Piss off!” Gary snaps at me, his face turning redder from embarrassment.

Before I can snap back, Aspen delivers her final blow. “I faked it.”

There’s no stopping the hysterics. I throw my head back, laughing loudly at the sky.

Pretty proud of my woman. She doesn’t need any help to emasculate her ex.

“Nu-uh! No one can fake it that well.”

Shocking the hell out of both of us, Aspen pulls a Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally. She releases an exaggerated moan that any man with half a brain would know is super fake.

“Oh, yes! God, Gary. Yes, just like that. Don’t stop.”

Gary blinks, bewildered. “Did…did you just orgasm on the sidewalk?”

Here he is, sober, and his true colors are showing. It was never weed impairing his judgement.

Probably realizing her ex was always an idiot, Aspen goes off. “No, Gary! No, I didn’t orgasm spontaneously. It was to show you how easy it was to fake a real one, all to protect your fragile ego. You could never handle me not coming after a few weak thrusts from you. I wore out two dildos, taking all my sexual frustration out on them because I wasn’t getting it from you.”

Daaamn. Just push him into the grave. He’s finished.

“The sex was only one of our issues where you disregarded me. Like everything else, it was always what you wanted. Never once did you care to do what I wanted, unless it benefited you.”

Gary scoffs, shaking his head with obstinacy. “That’s not true.”

“It is! Like yesterday, we weren’t supposed to be hiking in the mountains. You agreed to take me to brunch, but changed the plans last minute, not informing me of the new plans or what I should wear to prepare for our excursion. I nearly froze to death because again, I was unprepared for mountain hiking. AND YOU STRAPPED ME TO A FUCKING DEAD TREE!”

“Easy, darlin’, I say, rubbing circles into the small of her back to calm her. “Save that aggression for me later.”

Aspen lets out a long sigh, like she’s regrouping before she’s glaring at Gary again. “For months, you put yourself first in our relationship. It’s not entirely your fault. I should have insisted on more from you, instead of letting you off the hook as soon as you complained. But I was desperate enough to make our relationship work that I accepted less from you as a partner. I’ll take the blame for my part. But you need to accept your faults, too.

“Our brunch date was a last chance to show me you could put my wants ahead of yours, and you couldn’t even give me one hour. How is that fair? I don’t deserve to have my wants ignored. I’m done with not having my needs met. It’s time I put myself first.”

Gary has the decency to look ashamed. He looks at his feet for a long moment before addressing Aspen again. “I can see where I never took your needs into consideration, and I’m sorry. You stopped complaining months ago. I thought you were cool with everything.”

This schmuck. All I can do is shake my head as he digs his relationship with Aspen into a deeper grave. Makes my work a lot easier.