Page 38 of A Beast Captured My Heart

“Ifailed my baby girl…Beast wants me to- never mind. I’m trying, Kayori. This shit is just too much. I can’t merge us even if I tried! All this therapy shit is a waste of my time and money! I can’t be fixed, so if you want to leave me, do it now. I won’t allow you to stick around, then myself, Beast, and whoever else is inside of me gets too attached. Mattea also, I just don’t want to hurt you or anyone else.”

Tugging at his beard, I could see the battle in his eyes he looked so weary and exhausted. Usually, his whole aura screamed dominance and in control. Right now, he was simply tired and stressed out to the max, I wanted to make it better for him.

“I’m not leaving you, Praise. I understand it’s not easy. I care for you and I am willing to stick by you. We just need to take things slow as far as a relationship goes, but I’m not going anywhere, and no other man will have me but you.”

I saw his shoulders relax as I made my way to him and hugged him as tight as I could. I decided not to question anything else. I wanted him to feel comfortable telling me whatever it was that he battled hard with his mind. I continued to try to give him soothing words as I rubbed his back and talked low and his ear. I could feel his energy change, Praise was relaxing himself and hanging onto each word I spoke. He needed this.

“You didn’t fail her, Praise. At least you were able to get her. Now you can protect her and make sure this don’t happen to her again… She needs a solid foundation; you have to be that for her. Also, you need to start taking your meds since she’s going to be here with you most of the time.”

He nodded his head, then placed his nose in the crook of my neck. I was relieved that he agreed with me when it came to him taking his medicine.

“Yori… you my medicine, baby.”

Without any words, he placed his hand under my gown and between my meaty thighs. Inhaling sharply, he traced his thick thumb over my clit, strumming it. A look came over his face that I couldn’t make out. He snatched his hand from between my thighs and looked at his hand in horror. When he realized his hand had pussy juices and not blood, he placed his hand right back between my thighs.

“You lied to me, Yori? I thought your sickness was on?”

Looking at him confused I asked, “My sickness? You mean my period? No, I wouldn’t lie. Sometimes it starts then stop.”

He smiled, letting his shoulders relax again. He pulled me close to him while cupping my ass.

“Well let me get in that juicy pussy before it starts again.”

All I could do was laugh, Praise had me right where he needed me to be. As bad as I wanted to decline him, I couldn’t. He always stressed how I was his medicine not realizing that he was mine as well. He was my cure, my antidote, I felt so connected to him it was sickening.

When my ass touched the cold grass and he slid inside of me, it felt like I could finally breathe and feel a hundred percent complete. He was buried so deep inside of me, I felt like I would choke. My yonni engulfed him, it was like she was trying to choke and hold his dick inside of me forever.

“Relax, Yori. You tryna force my dick to nut, baby.”

I tried my hardest to relax, but the way my pussy throbbed was something I couldn’t control. I had to take over. He wanted me, but I wanted him more at this very moment. He popped one of my nipples in his warm mouth, I rotated my hips and matched his strokes. His eyes were filled with lust and need as his strokes became hard and fast, like he was letting off all his frustrations. I placed both hands around his neck and brought him down to my lips, our tongues wrestled like it would be the last time we connected on such a deep level. I knew that was a flat out lie. I was so deeply involved. I knew if I walked away, he would run after me, and I’d do the same for him. We didn’t want each other, we needed each other.

“I love you so fucking much, Yori.” I knew he meant exactly what he said, and it sent me over the edge.

“I love you too, Praise. Mmm… cum with me, daddy.”

Biting down on his earlobe, he grunted then growled. Hitting my spot over and over, I bit my bottom lip hard and I tasted blood. I brought him down body to body, chest to chest, with me. We were locked tight as my body convulsed under him. I locked my legs around him, as I felt his dick jerk inside of me. I released and it felt like I was floating. We laid on the damp grass next to his pool. I felt like I was high on a drug that he prescribed me. Standing to his feet, he pulled me up and walked me back inside the house. After checking to make sure Mattea was sleep, we showered and fucked, greased each other’s bodies and made love. No words were needed, what was shown through actions didn’t need to be explained.

The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. The house was silent, and I figured Praise must have been in the living room. Feeling nauseous all over again, I sat up, cleared my throat, and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and handle my hygiene. My pussy was sore, and Praise had me walking funny. When I entered the bathroom, I saw a note on top of an envelope. Reading the note first, Praise had told me that him and Mattea was going to spend the day together and that he left me five thousand dollars to put inside of my bank account. Wondering what that was about, I chunked it up as Praise just being Praise. He had refused to take back the black card he’d given me. All this money I still had that he gave me and I didn’t spend was starting to add up. My apartment would be decorated nice when I finally did move. Lifting the envelope up and looking at the money, I smiled, then that smile turned upside down when I spotted an unopened pregnancy box. Praise was out of his mind if he thought I was pregnant.

I took birth control every day at the same time each day. When I thought about it some more, I did miss a couple of days those three weeks we didn’t talk, but we weren’t having sex then. Birth control pills only took forty-eight hours to be effective. I raced into his room and picked my cell phone up to call him.

“Take the test, Kayori.” No hello’s, just straight to the point.

He knew why I was calling, when I went to say something back to him the line was already dead. I marched my ass right into that bathroom and took the test and like I said it was negative. Sighing, I felt relieved, a baby was something I definitely was not ready for. I still had a lot to conquer with myself, yet lately I had been on cloud nine thanks to Praise. He made me forget a lot of things I had battled with and made it easier to cope with my own pain, like losing my mom and Malcom. My biggest fear, on the other hand, was putting my all into Praise and losing sight of myself. My phone alerted me that Praise was calling again, and I knew it was about the test, so I answered straight to the point.

“I took it, it’s negative. I take my birth control faithfully, thank you,” I spoke in a sarcastic tone, letting him know that I didn’t appreciate his assumptions. I constantly reminded Praise that we needed to take things easy. He agreed and my face, but then he would turn around and do something totally opposite.

“No need to be upset, baby. That pussy felt different, so I know you’re pregnant with my baby.”

I hung up in his face and prepared to get ready for the day. My phone sounded off again and I answered of course, I could never ignore Praise even if I wanted too.

“You on some bullshit, yea?” His breathing was hiked up, I could hear the anger in his tone. Before I could speak, he cut me off, “I don’t want a baby right now, but if you’re carrying my seed, things will change.”

“I’M NOT FUCKING PREGNANT, PRAISE!” I couldn’t hold back my frustrations. The very thought of carrying a child with this man scared me. I had deep feelings for Praise, I saw myself with him for a long time. However, a child was moving too fast with him. I never even thought that far out just yet. I just started being able to stand on my own two feet with working and finally getting myself a place. I also took his mental health into consideration. I wondered if I carried a child by him would my child have the same problem. There was a lot of shit to take into consideration.

“You saying that shit with your chest, Kayori. You act like having a child with me would be bad. You claim you love a nigga, so what’s the mufuckin problem?” This was Beast talking now, his whole lingo and demeanor had changed. I didn’t need to look him in his eyes to tell that they were wild yet charming at the same time.

“Look Beast, I'm trying to get ready for the day, if you don’t mind. Like I said, I’m not pregnant and if I was to carry a child by you, we would need to talk that over with your doctor to see the pros and cons.” Just because he was Beast, I was not about to bend, or candy coat my words.