Page 20 of A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love

Their eyes widened as they processed my words. I wanted to be clear that I was not perfect but also show myself taking accountability and calling things exactly what they were.

“But you just said that’s weak,” Abel said, holding me to what I taught.

“It is.” I nodded immediately.

“And I ain’t above that. That’s the part I need y’all to understand… I’m not just teaching y’all to be better than other people… I teach y’all to be better than me when I’m not at my best.” I pointed between them.

“When y’all hear me slip,” I went on. “That’s not something to copy. It’s something to learn from…. And I’m grown.” I smirked.

“Y’all will respect me and not use profanity in front of me or other adults.” I eyed them both sternly.

Cain was the first to smile before speaking.

“So when we don’t curse… we kinda stronger, huh?” He looked over at his brother who now wore the same smile as him.

“Exactly,” I confirmed, nodding my head.

“Dang, Pops be real deep with it.” Abel nodded his head slowly like he was listening to a R&B song.

I chuckled lowly then stood tall in front of them.

“I know y’all remember me mentioning going by Sanarah house to spend some time with your siblings this weekend, right?” I swiftly changed the subject since my time with them was coming to an end.

Abel perked up excitedly. Cain rolled his eyes and looked away from me.

“All my baby sister do is cry for her momma,” Cain mumbled under his breath.

“So,” Abel interjected defensively. “She lets you hold her more than me. Plus, Sanarah be all in our faces asking about Pops,” Abel continued to complain.

That immediately got my attention.

“Asking you what about me?” I cleared my throat, picking my cup of tea off the floor and took another sip.

“Man, you be snitching,” Cain drawled, shaking his peanut head.

“What-how? You even said she annoying!” Abel defended.

Abel huffed, crossing his arms. “She always asking if you be gone a lot or actually spend time with us. She tells us we should ask you about bringing our baby brother and sister here and⁠—”

“She ask do you have a girlfriend,” Cain cut Abel off, looking annoyed. “She wants to know every detail, she wanna see you bad,” he finished.

I paused, thinking about Sanarah’s thirstiness with my boys before responding to what they just said. I didn’t want to look pissed off but, on the inside, I was fuming. I asked her more than once through text about letting her three-year-old daughter and eight-month-old son, my niece and nephew, come over.

I knew I was taking care of the twin’s full time since Tracy called herself now strung out on drugs after learning about Kentrell’s death. I wanted to be a father figure to Kentrell and Sanarah’s kids too, not wanting to leave them out. What Sanarah failed to tell the boys was how she begged for forgiveness.

She even stooped low enough to offer being a mother to the twins just to be with me. She had to be out of her mind to ever think or even believe I’d slip back between her legs after she went behind me with my brother.

“Sanarah’s just trying to make sure y’all get enough time together as a family,” I whispered out carefully. “But I’ll talk to her about bringing your little brother and sister over soon. Maybe we can set something up, so everyone feels included.” I offered both boys a reassuring smile.

Abel tapped his foot impatiently, then blurted out, “Well, aren’t you going to eventually date and bring home a girlfriend?” His question hung heavy in the air, a smirk curling on his lips as he watched for my reaction.

I stared at Abel for what felt like forever, sizing him up and wrestling with my thoughts. Women hadn’t even crossed my mind lately; not since my heart started hurting for one woman, day and night, with every memory tangled and aching inside me. The ache was sharp, almost physical, and I stiffened, feeling a swirl of emotions slam through me. Finally, I managed to utter out…

“No.” It came out quiet and flat, but the weight behind it shut Abel up for a couple of seconds to help me regain control of my memories of…

Nova baby…Where the fuck are you? I frowned as the question sounded off in my mind. A sharp pain shot up my throat, causing me to massage the center of my neck like I had been struck. I swallowed down the lump that rose before my eyes followed suit by misting over.

La’Nova had scorn me physically and mentally. It was living torture for me that I concealed to the best of my abilities.