Page 292 of Reaper Said Mine

"I sat in command afterward and looked at the map."

I don't interrupt.

"I looked at Coalition ships in my territory. I looked at civilians hiding in shelters."

His jaw works.

"And I wondered if I had finally become exactly what my enemies always claimed."

The words hit me harder than I expect.

I know how much they cost him. Gnash doesn't confess weakness easily. He certainly doesn't volunteer it. Yet here he is, placing it in my hands anyway.

"I was angry," he continues.

"At myself."

A humorless smile touches his mouth.

"Still am, some days."

I sit quietly and let him speak.

"I thought I could control the situation."

His voice grows colder, directed entirely inward.

"I thought killing Zune solved something."

The room becomes very still.

"I told myself it was justice."

He looks away.

"Maybe part of it was."

His fingers tighten.

"But another part was revenge."

I don't argue because he's right.

He exhales slowly.

"And every step after that became easier. Every escalation. Every threat. Every assumption."

The pain in his voice is almost physical.

"I kept believing I was responding."

He shakes his head.

"But I was helping build the fire."

The confession hangs between us, raw and unguarded.

I reach across the space separating us and settle my hand over his. His fingers immediately close around mine.