Page 154 of Reaper Said Mine

Ursa sits very still.

"What are they for you?"

The answer has lived inside me for years, long before she arrived, long before Guyver Station, and long before anyone began talking about treaties.

"Time."

She waits.

"I wanted time to strengthen the station. Time to build trade routes. Time to stabilize defenses. Time to create enough economic value that destroying us would cost more than tolerating us."

Ursa slowly nods.

"That makes sense."

"That is only part of it."

The harder truth follows, one I rarely examine directly.

I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees.

"When the Combine destroyed my home, I was young enough to survive and old enough to remember."

The words sound strange spoken aloud.

"I spent years convincing myself I wanted justice."

Ursa says nothing.

"I spent years building fleets, influence, and power."

I laugh softly.

There is no humor in the sound.

"Eventually I realized something unpleasant."

"What?"

"I wanted revenge."

The room falls quiet.

Outside the viewport, station lights drift across the glass.

"I told myself it was about protecting my people."

I stare at my hands.

"Part of it was."

The old anger rises from places I usually keep sealed.

"I wanted the Combine to suffer."

The admission feels ugly, but also necessary and honest.

"I wanted them frightened."