Page 25 of My Older Biker

"Even then."

The words hang between them like something physical.

Dad's jaw works. "Get out."

"No." Dean's voice is firm. "Not until you hear me out."

"There's nothing to hear. You made your choice."

"I made my choice knowing what it would cost. But you need to understand something." Dean takes another step closer. "I have loved exactly two people in my entire adult life. You're one of them. Zoe's the other. And I know that's not fair to you. I know it feels like betrayal. But I'm not apologizing for loving her. I'm just asking you to understand that this isn't me choosing her over you. It's me finally choosing something for myself after twenty years of putting the club first."

"The club is family."

"I know. And so is she. And I'm asking you to make room for both."

Dad's breathing is hard. His hands are shaking. "You should've told me when it started. You should've trusted me with the truth."

"I was ashamed," Dean says. "She was nineteen and I was noticing her in ways I had no business noticing. What was I supposed to say? That I was having thoughts I couldn't control? I dealt with it the only way I knew how. I stayed away."

"Until you didn't."

"Until she didn't let me anymore." Dean glances at me. "And I realized staying away from her was destroying me more than facing your anger would."

Dad looks at me. Really looks. And for the first time since we walked in I see past the anger to the hurt underneath.

"I raised you alone," he says. His voice is quieter now. Rawer. "Your mother left when you were six months old. I've been it for you ever since. Made every decision based on what was best for you. Gave you everything I had."

My throat closes. "I know."

"And I never asked for anything back except honesty. I told you when you were old enough to understand that the MC life was dangerous and messy but we didn't lie to each other. Remember?"

I nod. Can't speak.

"So why didn't you tell me?" His voice cracks. "Why did I have to find out like this?"

"Because I knew how you'd react," I say through tears I can't stop anymore. "I knew you'd be hurt. I knew you'd see it as betrayal. And I was selfish enough to want to keep both of you. To have Dean and not lose you."

"Well you can't have both. Not right now."

The words hit like a fist.

"Dad—"

"I need time." He looks at Dean. "I need time to process that Perry's dead. That I lost one brother yesterday. That I might be losing another one today. I need time to figure out if I can look at you across the table at church and not feel like you lied to me for years."

"I never lied."

"Omission is still lying." Dad's voice is tired now. Defeated. "You kept something from me that you knew would matter. That's a lie by another name."

Dean doesn't argue. Just nods.

Dad looks at both of us. "I want you to leave now. I can't do this anymore today."

"Are we still brothers?" Dean asks. The question is quiet but it cuts through everything else.

Dad is quiet for a long time. "Ask me after Perry's funeral. After I've had time to grieve one loss before I decide if I'm taking on another."

The finality in his voice makes it hard to breathe.