Page 11 of My Older Biker

"Yeah."

"We giving him better tonight?"

I look at him. "We're giving him what we can."

He nods. Finishes the cigarette. Walks back inside.

I stay in the lot another twenty minutes. Then I get on my bike and head home.

The ride takes fifteen minutes. The whole time I'm aware that I have five hours before I leave for the raid. Five hours and Zoe's at my house and I don't know if I'm coming back.

Perry thought he had time. We all think we have time.

I pull into my driveway at five. Kill the engine. Sit for a second before I go inside.

When I open the door she's in the living room. Sitting on the couch with her legs pulled up under her, laptop open on her thighs. She looks up when I walk in.

Stands.

Doesn't rush to me. Just looks at me and waits.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

I close the door behind me. Lock it. "No. Perry's dead and we're burning Marrow's base tonight and I don't know if that's justice or violence and right now I don't care."

She closes the laptop. Sets it on the couch. Walks to me.

Her hand comes up and presses flat against my chest. Right over my heart. The touch grounds something that's been loose in me all day.

"How long until you leave?" she says.

"Five hours."

"Then we have five hours."

I cover her hand with mine. "Zoe."

"Stop pretending we're not going to do this." Her voice is steady. Certain. "I want you. You want me. We might not get another chance."

The words land like a fist.

"If we do this," I say, "I'm not going to be able to walk it back."

"Good. I don't want you to walk it back." She steps closer. "I want you to come back to me tonight and I want to know that you're mine."

The possessiveness in that breaks something in me that's been holding since yesterday.

"You understand what you're asking for," I say.

"I understand you're about to walk into something dangerous and you might not come home. I understand that if I don't do this now, I might not get another chance. I understand I've been in love with you for over a year and I'm done waiting for perfect timing that doesn't exist."

I stare at her. "You're in love with me."

"Yes."

"For over a year."

"Yes."