Page 85 of Penn

“Don’t move,” Dr. Evans says.

The doctor preps my back, and I don’t like the cold swipe of the antiseptic on my overheated skin. It should be a relief, but all I can imagine now is the prick I’ll feel. I know I said I wanted the drugs and the needle, but now I’m kind of terrified.

“Just look at me, baby. Focus on me,” Penn says.

A sharp pinch stings as she administers a local numbing agent, and I want to stiffen. Like a normal person. But Penn keeps me hunched like I’m supposed to be, keeping me perfectly still.

“Deep breath,” he whispers. “Just look at me.”

A strange pressure sliding in my lower back hits, and I’m not a fan of the sensation it creates. I keep my eyes focused on Penn and narrow my eyes. “What are those lines on your face?”

“What?”

“You have an outline on your skin. Were you scuba diving or something?”

“All done,” Dr. Evans says as Penn chuckles. “You can lie back now. It should start working in about ten minutes.”

Penn carefully helps me move back onto the pillows and pulls the blanket over me. Slowly, the sharp, biting pain begins to dull, and I finally feel relief. Real relief. Not just the lack of my insides squeezing like they’re trying to juice me. I’m not a fucking orange.

“Oh, thank God,” I mutter, closing my eyes as it all begins to fade.

“Better?” Penn asks.

“So much better,” I say. “You’re dirty.”

“Oh, uh…”

“Why don’t you go and clean up quickly?” Brenda asks. “Now that we have the epidural, she won’t want to murder me. I hope.”

Smiling, I tilt my head. “I mean it with love.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she says. “I’ll stay with her. We can also give you some scrubs to change into.”

He looks at me for permission, and I just nod my head as my eyes flutter closed. It’s the first time in hours I have been able to relax.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, squeezing my hand.

Another nurse leads him away, and I stare after him, my lids opening and closing slowly. I know he wasn’t close, and he made decent timing. Which means he had to ride like hell to get here. He didn’t even stop to shower or change because he wanted to be here. Out of complete and total devotion.

Stephen’s the one who put me in this position. He lied, cheated, and then tried to burn my life to the ground when I didn’t let him control me. But it’s Penn who helped me rebuild my life. Showed me what true security feels like, and he created a beautiful nursery. One I kept lying to myself about, saying I had time.

I didn’t have time.

Thank God for him being on top of things.

“Everything looks perfect, Dixie. The baby’s heart rate is stable, and you look like you could take a nap. Which is great.”

She slips out of the room, and I let myself drift off. They say sleep won’t come as easily when the baby’s here, and I am beyond exhausted. Who knew lying here as your body tries to rip in half would be so much work?

There’s slight discomfort but nothing like I felt earlier, and when I open my eyes, Penn’s sitting next to me wearing a pair of blue scrubs, and his hands and face are clean again. “Hey.”

“Hey, beautiful,” he says. “You got a little nap in.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, you didn’t hear me come back in.”

Smiling at him, I take his hand. “Do me a favor?”