Page 31 of Penn

“You’re overreacting,” he says, his tone shifting from amused to far too logical for a man like him. “Listen, she’s not doing this to insult you. But I suspect she’s had issues with being indebted to people in the past. Especially men. Put yourself in her shoes.”

That’s not really an easy thing to do. For one, I’m not pregnant. I can only imagine how much harder everything is when you’re carrying a child. But I also don’t accept help from people.

Wait.

Fuck.

I stop pacing and look out the window. “I don’t want her thinking I’m keeping some sort of tally or checklist,” I say, my tone softer and less defensive now.

“If she doesn’t realize you’re not her asshole ex, then you’re doing something wrong. But I bet she knows,” he says, picking up what I imagine is probably a wrench. “It might not hurt to tell her you’re not holding anything over her head.”

Just the thought that Dixie thinks I’m anything like that motherfucker hurts more than getting a check handed to me in a bar. “How do I get her to hear me?”

“You can’t force her to trust you, man. These women—women like Dixie and Misty—aren’t ones who trust easily. Because life has been anything but fucking easy for them.”

“That’s not really advice, dude.”

He chuckles. “Refusing to let her contribute in some way isn’t going to make her trust you. It might make her feel like a prisoner, and then she’ll be hightailing it as far away as possible.”

“So you think I should take the money?”

“Fuck no. But find a non-monetary way she can help out. Give her something to feel like she’s earning her keep. That’ll get you further than huffing and puffing in anger like you’re gonna blow the damn house down.”

“Reading Bernie’s books again, huh?”

Misty’s daughter, Bernie, has stolen the heart of the entire club. With her purple glasses and big smile, she’s adorable and incredibly insightful for someone her age. She’s wise far beyond her years.

Maybe I should’ve called her instead.

“She likes me to read to her before she falls asleep. She’s obsessed with wolves right now, and I swear, I have all those stories memorized by now.”

I smile. That’s what I want. I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but that’s maybe why I called Zep. He’s helping raise a daughter who isn’t his while his woman carries the one that shares his DNA. Yet it doesn’t matter to him. Bernie’s just as much his as the baby in the womb.

Just like Dixie’s baby. I want her, but I want her baby, too. I want to have a family, DNA be damned. I don’t give a fuck. All I want is a happy mom and baby to come home to. To provide for. To love.

He’s right, though. I have to find a way for Dixie to feel like she’s doing something to repay me for letting her stay at my house. If I don’t, she’ll hightail it out of here, and I’ll never get to see her again. She might even completely leave Gravelton. What’s really keeping her here?

“I’ll think of a compromise,” I mutter.

“Do that,” he says as headlights come down the road. “Otherwise, you won’t stand a chance in hell with her.”

He hangs up before I can respond, but I know he’s right. And if I want to be with her and be the person she needs in every aspect of the word, I have to do something better than storming out.

Dixie walks into the living room, her eyelids heavy and her ankles swollen. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I say, walking over to help as she tries not to fall while taking off the shoes that are relatively suctioned to her feet.

She doesn’t fight me like I expect, but the moment she’s barefoot, she recoils from me like my arm turned into a snake. “We need to talk.”

“I know,” I say. “Sit?”

“Thanks,” she says, falling onto the couch.

Her belly isn’t that big yet, but it’s growing every day. I want to ask her about her sodium intake because of how much she’s swelling so early into her pregnancy, but I refrain. The last thing she needs is seeing me as overbearing as well as dramatic.

“Nancy explained why you reacted the way you did to the money,” she says, resting her head on the back of the couch. “I don’t want to disrespect or offend you, but I can’t just live here for free. It’s not how I’m wired. I have to feel like I’m doing something to earn my keep.”

“Dixie—”