Page 7 of We Shouldn’t Do This Again

The question drops, and I can’t help but let out a little snort of laughter.

“What a subtle way to bring up the subject…” I reply with a sigh, then take another sip of coffee to buy some time.

“It’s been a few days now, and you haven’t told me anything.”

“Two days exactly,” I clarify, and she watches me patiently. “But right now I have more important things to focus on. Work, for example.”

“Well, you should have given it some thought because that’s important too.”

I sigh deeply and lower my gaze to the paper cup I’m holding in my hands. The invitation is still exactly where I left it that day, on the living room table at home, without me having moved it an inch.

“The truth is, I don’t know what to do.”

Ingrid raises her eyebrows slightly.

“You do know,” she replies, leaning back against the bench so she can give me her full attention. “You just don’t know if it’s the right decision.”

I smile with that irony I can’t quite hide.

“It’s not that. It’s…”

She completely forgets about her coffee and starts lightly brushing my shoulder with her fingertips.

“What exactly is worrying you, Barbara?”

The question is direct, but her tone is so soft and warm that it invites me to be honest. Even though I’ve kept my true feelings to myself for a long time. I could tell her about work, about training, about how tight the team’s schedule is. I could come up with any practical, logical excuse. But none of them would be the truth, because the truth has a name and a surname, and it still weighs on my heart.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go, to be honest…”

“Why?”

I shrug slightly. I think of the Maldives, that place where my story with Lidia began and that is part of the memories of a story I myself shattered with every decision I made.

Ingrid tilts her head and looks at me intently.

“It’s Pablo’s wedding, and from what you told me the other night, it’s important to you. For years, he treated you as if you were truly part of the family. He never made you feel bad, not even after your divorce…”

I nod slowly, because it’s true. Pablo was always that stable, warm figure, someone who gave me the genuine love of a father.

“I know,” I murmur. “And that’s why I feel so weird. Because I can’t let him down.”

“Then you shouldn’t think about it so much,” she says casually, though her gaze has grown tender. “Go to that wedding and enjoy yourself.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It is,” she replies confidently. “There are only three league games left. I can handle the team on my own without any problem.”

I frown, because I don’t like the idea of leaving her to handle everything.

“I don’t like leaving you with all the work right now.”

“Barbara…” she says with infinite patience. “Let me remind you that before you arrived, I was running the team all by myself. I think I’ll survive just fine for a few weeks without your constant company.”

“That doesn’t mean I have the right to just disappear whenever I feel like it,” I retort, feeling myself tense up. “I’m part of the team too—what will they think of me?”

“You’re not going to disappear,” she assures me with a calm, confident smile. “You’re going to a wedding in a beautiful place, with people who love you and will be happy to see you.”

“A wedding where Lidia will be there—someone I haven’t seen in two years and haven’t forgotten, no matter how much I force myself to pretend otherwise,” I think to myself.