Page 17 of We Shouldn’t Do This Again

“So he invited you to his wedding…” she says at last, and it’s not a question, but a statement loaded with meaning.

“Yes,” I reply, holding her gaze. “I got the invitation and accepted. It means a lot to me to be here on such an important day for him.”

“The wedding is on the thirty-first. It’s the fifteenth today. You didn’t need to come this early.”

“I thought I could lend a hand,” I confess, shrugging.

She lets out a short, dry laugh, the kind that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Sure. Always so loyal to my father. How thoughtful of you.”

“It’s the truth, Lidia,” I insist, and my voice grows more serious, firmer. “I didn’t come here to argue with you or dredge up anything from the past.”

“You’ve chosen a rather curious time and place for that, don’t you think?”

“I came because your father is…” I pause briefly to gather my thoughts. “Because it’s important to me to be by his side right now. That’s all.”

Her eyes harden, but beneath that cold facade I sense a glimmer of the Lidia I once knew—the one who used to hide behind her coldness when things got complicated.

“How lovely,” she murmurs sarcastically. “How wonderful it all is.”

“Lidia, come on…” I begin, trying to maintain the calm I feel slipping away.

“No,” she cuts me off, raising a hand decisively. “Don’t start with that now. Not here.”

I know her well enough to realize she’s about to lose her patience, as the wall she’s built around her heart begins to crack.

“I’m just saying that,” I continue in a lower, almost pleading voice, “I hope we can get through these weeks peacefully. For his sake. He doesn’t deserve for us to turn his wedding into a battlefield.”

Lidia stares at me in silence for a few seconds, and her gaze is so cold that I feel a terrible urge to melt it away with kisses. A thought that stuns me and forces me to run a hand over my neck, uncomfortable.

“Peacefully?” she repeats slowly, savoring the word as if it tasted bitter. “What an optimistic word coming from you.”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” I insist, even though I know I’m lying a little, because between us, “complicated” has always been the air we breathe. “We’re two adults.”

She shakes her head gently, as if she’s just heard the most absurd thing in the world.

“You can’t be calm around the person who ruined your life, who left you with a broken heart and a feeling of inadequacy that’s still lodged deep inside me.”

The words hit me like a punch to the pit of my stomach. For a second I don’t know what to say, because part of me wants to argue, wants to tell her that things weren’t easy for me either, that for months I was buried in a depression that was incredibly hard to crawl out of, that it wasn’t just my fault, that she also had her share of the blame in that disaster that tore us apart. That fear, doubts, and circumstances dragged both of us down. But I don’t get to say any of that. Because Lidia is already walking away by the time I work up the courage to open my mouth.

I watch her walk away as easily as she appeared before my eyes, and I’m left standing there in the middle of the resort’s open lobby, with the sound of the sea coming from the distance and my phone vibrating again in my pocket. The notifications keep piling up relentlessly. But my attention is focused on Lidia and the certainty that these next few weeks aren’t going to be easy for either of us.

CHAPTER 10

THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING

Lidia

My last sentence echoes in my head as I walk along the beach and let my feet sink into the sand. It’s curious how it retains the day’s warmth even at this late hour, as if the ground refuses to let go of the memory of the sun. The sea remains absolutely calm, black and immense, moving with the same slowness with which the waves break on the shore. In the distance, the sky glows with stars that seem much closer to me than in any other corner of the world. I should be able to enjoy the scenery, but I can’t relax even a little. Not after my reunion with Barbara.

I can’t believe my father has played me like this, that he’s teamed up with fate and is mocking me so cruelly. I don’t know how long I’ve been mulling this over, but no matter how much I think about it, I still don’t understand why he decided this was the perfect moment to bring Barbara and me together on the same island at the same time.

I clench my fingers around my shoes, let out a sigh, and walk into the sea, where the water brushes my ankles and gives me the calm I need.

“Congratulations, Lidia. You came all the way here looking for some peace, and the first thing you manage to do is lose control.”

My voice sounds strange in the middle of the night. The air smells intensely of salt and that tropical vegetation swaying gently beyond the beach. If I closed my eyes right now, I could convince myself I’m in a dream, in paradise, but having Barbara here has turned everything upside down. And it shouldn’t affect me this much. Years have passed, enough time for my wounds to heal and the memories to stop hurting, but clearly, just looking into her eyes for a few minutes has been enough to stir everything up inside me and make me feel—uncomfortably and painfully—that the years haven’t passed at all.