Page 84 of Silk and Sirens

I swallowed, my lungs feeling like they were filling with cement. “You didn’t try hard enough.”

“And then when I did, it was too late.” His voice quivered. “Aeris, the drugs killed her. Not me.”

“She’s not dead,” I snapped, but, again, the words were starting to feel hollow, like they were a lie I was still telling myself. “They’ve never found her body, so she’s not dead. She can’t be.”

Tristan dragged a hand down his face, the gesture uncharacteristically strained. “Aeris, she’s gone. I can’t change that. But please, let me⁠—”

“Let you what? Help?” I smiled. I knew it looked unhinged, but I didn’t care. “You can’t help. I’m here because of you.” My voice was cold, void of any emotion. “You really think Selene would let me go?”

This time I took the step forward, closing the space between us.

“Do you know what she did? Do you know what I’ve had to do to survive? To not end up like Mira?”

Tristan looked away, his jaw clenched. But I saw the look in his eyes. The anger. The pain. The fucking guilt.

He knew. He knew I’d been raped. That it had been recorded and …

A chill vaulted through my stomach, and fresh tears burned my eyes.

“I’ve just realised it was around the same time.” I forced my voice to remain calm, even when Tristan returned his gaze to mine. “I thought she was punishing me, but she wasn’t, was she? She was punishing you.”

The corridor felt too small, the air too thick. My chest heaved as the years of rage and grief tore through me.

“Aeris … please.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t put the two together.” I was breathing heavily, my arms shaking as I rushed to say the words. For him to fucking hear it. “Hours after John Blackwater was found dead in his cell, hours after you refused a re-trial, I was gang raped.”

Tristan stilled, the colour leaving his cheeks.

“Repeatedly, for hours, by so many men I lost count. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“Please, Aeris.” I’d never heard my father sound so broken. “Let me help.”

“I was fifteen!” I snapped. “Where were you then? Where were you when I actually needed a father to come save me?”

“I warned you!” he cried, his eyes red rimmed. “I warned you about Luke. I tried, but each time I reached out you’d distance yourself and⁠—”

“I was a child!” I cried. “Mira had been missing for almost two years. I’d lost my sister, and you just … disappeared.”

“I was always there, Aeris. I was⁠—”

“No.” I cut him off. “You weren’t.”

My chest was tight as I looked up at the man that failed my sister. Failed me.

“My sister, your daughter, went missing,” I whispered, tears finally spilling down my cheeks. “And you … you just kept living as if she didn’t matter.”

Chapter 36

Aeris

I couldn’t breathe.

Every breath was coming in staggered, like I couldn’t quite catch enough air without it wanting to rush out again. Staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I clamped my hands on the edge of the sink like it could somehow anchor me.

Tears burned down my cheeks, my expression tight. Angry.

Breathe.