Page 49 of Windward Hearts

“No, no, I can talk,” Eleanor said. “Is something wrong? You sound like something is on your mind.”

June heaved a sigh. “It’s silly,” she said.

“Silly things can still be upsetting,” Eleanor reminded her friend patiently. “You don’t need to reach some special level of seriousness before you talk about your problems with your friends.”

June let out a breathy laugh that held a tinge of sadness.

“I knew there was a reason I called you. You give such great advice.”

“Well, thank you,” Eleanor said. “So, why don’t you explain what’s going on?”

“Okay, okay,” June said, sighing. “So, last night, Levi came over for dinner.”

“Uh-huh,” Eleanor said, putting on her turn signal as she approached a stop sign.

“And I was running late because—well, honestly, I don’t even know how I lost the time. The kid vortex, probably. But one minute, it was school pick-up, and the next, I should have started cooking twenty minutes ago.”

Eleanor chuckled at June’s turn of phrase. She’d lost plenty of time to this so-called “kid vortex.”

“Well, that happens, honey,” she said. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“No, that’s not it,” June said. “Levi came over, and he took it all totally in stride. He didn’t even need help finding anything in my kitchen! He just grabbed the tomato knife and started chopping tomatoes for the salad! I didn’t even know I had a tomato knife!”

Eleanor was laughing again. “Sweetie, if you want me to give advice, you have to stop making this problem sound so hilarious. You’re a great storyteller. If this singing thing ever gets boring, you can try being a comedian.”

“Thanks,” June said, her tone a little wry. “Anyway, we have dinner, barely even late, and Levi and Benjamin are having a great time chatting about some superhero show that they both like, and Benjamin put the dishes away without me even having to ask him. And Levi just hung out while Benjamin got ready for bed, and then we watched half a movie together, because we were too tired to make it through the whole thing. So we said goodnight, and he gave me this really sweet kiss at the door, and it was just all so… nice.”

Eleanor paused, waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it didn’t, she replied, “Well, not to throw your words back at you, but you said it, babe. That sounds nice.”

“It was!” June practically wailed it.

“So… what’s the issue?”

June let out a grumbled sound. “Well, that’s where the silliness comes in. I just—whenever I stop to think about how perfect things are with Levi, I start to get this worried feeling. Like it’s all going to fall apart. Like it can’t last. And then I get caught up thinking about how horrible it will feel when it does fall apart. I mean, it will just be crushing, right? And that thought just sticks in my head.”

Eleanor was pulling into the parking lot at Riverstone Kitchen now, but she wasn’t going to hurry her friend off the phone when she was feeling upset.

“I get how unpleasant it can be when one of those thoughts gets stuck in your brain,” Eleanor said in commiseration. “I’ve been there. But one thing you have to remember is that just because you think something doesn’t mean that it’s actually true. And I think that part of this might not actually be about Levi at all.”

June immediately knew what she meant. “You think it’s about Keith.”

Keith was June’s late husband, who had passed away suddenly a few years before. Eleanor couldn’t imagine losing her spouse like that. It made sense that there would be some lingering trauma over that loss.

“I think it makes sense,” Eleanor said kindly, “that after having your whole life go from being wonderful to having it be filled with tragedy in an instant that it might be hard to trust that it won’t happen again.”

“But that doesn’t mean it’s rational,” June said, with the air of someone who had worked through emotions like these ones before.

“No,” Eleanor agreed. “But something being irrational doesn’t mean it isn’t real either. I mean, you have no reason to think that Levi being steadfast means anything except that he is steadfast. That he cares about you and Benjamin a whole heck of a lot. But, it’s also true that your feelings are real. So, let both of those things exist. Know that you’re feeling worried and try to remember that just because something bad happened before doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen again.”

“That’s… very good advice,” June said on a heavy exhale.

“That’s why you called me,” Eleanor reminded her, letting her smile creep into her voice. “Just… try to trust. It’s hard, but try.”

“Well, Levi makes it easier than most,” June allowed. “Okay, okay, I know you were driving. I’ll let you go. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Anytime, my dear,” Eleanor said. “Talk soon, okay?”

“Of course,” June said. She already sounded lighter, which made Eleanor feel a little better about letting her off the phone. “You’re the best.”