Page 97 of Wedding or Not

In a moment of clarity, I see my life from above. At a distance. And I’m hit with a weird realization. I’m not to blame for everything. I can’t hold the world together just by trying. I’m not responsible for fixing it all.

But I am—I am, I am, I am—responsible for this. Every bit as much as Wes is.

I didn’t let him tell me the truth when he was trying, so I need to tell the truth now.

Being me, instead of expressing it in a mature and appropriate way, I end up blurting it out. “I love you!”

Wes freezes mid-step.

“I love you!” I’m way too loud. People at the wedding can hear me. Someone is probably filming us right now.

But I don’t care because the thing I’ve been trying to contain for so long is finally freed. “I love you, Wes. For real. I don’t want it to be over. That’s why I’m acting this way.”

He turns around very slowly. His face is stiff and tense.

Not the expression I hoped to see.

He stares at me. Then looks at the wedding behind me. It’s grown quieter. Everyone there is witnessing this.

His expression twists with what looks like confusion.

Self-consciousness.

Reluctance?

Oh my God, I’ve done it again.

It’s the hayride all over. Me blurting out the truth in front of the world when it’s the worst possible thing to do.

With a sob in my throat, I turn away. Take a couple of walking steps until the despair catches up with me.

I can’t stay here. I can’t look at Wes again.

Whatever the confusion meant, he didn’t want to hear the truth from me, and he didn’t want everyone else to hear it either.

I start to run, stumbling slightly before I get my stride. I’m wearing a casual cotton dress and chunky sandals. Not ideal clothes for running but not the worst.

It doesn’t matter anyway.

All that matters right now is that I run away from yet another mess I made.

CHAPTER 34

I don’t get very far before racing footsteps sound on the path behind me.

I’m in such an emotional flurry I don’t process them until Wes is actually overtaking me.

To tell the truth, I’m not quite sure how he manages the maneuver, but he gets in front of me and turns his body around so the momentum of my running throws me right into his arms.

He braced himself against the momentum enough to keep us both on our feet. Then he wraps his arms around me in a move that ends up in a tight, desperate hug.

I hug him back.

How can I not?

He’s everything I want, and he chased after me. He’s holding me so tightly I can barely breathe.

He’s strong and breathless and real and so warm—inside and out—and it feels right now like I’m the most important thing in his world.