Page 100 of Wedding or Not

“What?” I’ve understood from hints and comments that his feelings have been around longer than mine, but this is a lot.

A lot.

“I don’t understand how to parse out the shifts and transitions. I only know I can’t remember a single day in my life when I didn’t feel like I was in love with you. Even as a… a very little child, I was convinced you were the prettiest girl in the world. I knew you were special to me.”

“Oh my God, Wes.” My voice wobbles. “That’s a lot.”

“I know it is. Why do you think I’ve been so set on hiding it? I’ve been hiding it my entire life because you didn’t love me back.”

I squeeze him. Shake for a minute. “Oh no! The hayride. Oh no, you felt that way for me then? When I blurted out that I didn’t… I didn’t… like you…”

He groans and strokes my hair. “Yes. I loved you then.”

“Oh no, Wes. My poor baby. How your poor heart must have hurt.”

“It wasn’t great, but I was okay. I tried to put it away. I really did try. After that, I decided you would never like me back, so I worked hard at getting over you. Sometimes I convinced myself, but I never actually did. In high school, I was into you all over again. I resolved that if I could turn myself into one of the popular guys, maybe you would see me differently. I was even starting to make a few moves in that direction when damned Judd decided to try to snatch you away from me.”

“No! It gets worse and worse. So Judd really did pick up that you were into me?”

“Yes. For a less-than-clever person, he’s got a few sharp instincts.”

“How did you deal with it for so long?”

“I was used to it. And mostly I knew the whole thing was doomed, so I got used to… I got used to it never working out. In college and while I was in DC, I made another effort to get over you for good. But I’m convinced that’s why it didn’t work out with Roslyn. She didn’t know about you, but she sensed your presence in my heart. There wasn’t room for her there. There’s never been room for anyone but you.”

“I can’t believe this. I wish… I wish I…”

I don’t finish the thought because I know it isn’t right.

“I couldn’t tell you. Not at any point until recently. It would have scared and upset you so much you would have avoided me even more than you already did. We never would have gotten together if you knew.”

I slide my hand down to cup his tight ass through his boxer briefs. “I guess that’s right. But it makes me feel bad. That I was so clueless and you’ve had feelings for so long.”

“Don’t feel bad. It was worth it. All of it was worth it.” He finds my mouth in the dark and kisses me. “Because I get to have you now.”

Two months later on a Saturday, we have the biggest wedding we’ve ever had on the property. The daughter of one of the state legislators is getting married to the son of a very wealthy family. So not only will there be a huge influx of people but a lot of them will be rich and politically important.

Natalie, Jake, and I have been preparing for weeks to make sure we’re ready, and all week I’ve been nervous about it.

Blossom Park’s fortunes have been transformed this year. Next month, as long as nothing unforeseen happens, we’ll be able to pay off our entire debt. We have a full schedule of events for the next three years, and the number of our daily visitors is triple what it was last year at this time.

But I guess I’ll always be an anxious person, because I’ve been seriously stressing this week.

I open my eyes—alert and wide-awake—at just after five in the morning. The tightening of anxiety in my gut is like an annoying old friend.

With a sigh, I roll out of bed and go to the bathroom to pee, wash my hands and face, and brush my teeth. I’m planning to just get up and get going, but when I walk back into the bedroom, Wes is awake too.

He reaches a hand out toward me in the rumpled bed. “Come back to bed, baby.”

“I’m all restless and churny.”

“I know you are. That’s why you need to come to me.”

Shaking my head with a little smile, I walk back to the bed, take his hand, and let him draw me under the covers.

He pulls me into a loose embrace, running a few kisses along my face but not making any sexual advances.

Wes is actually a very sexy man. He gets turned on around me a lot—a lot—and he’s earnest and passionate and creative in the bedroom. Also incredibly generous. He spends a lot of time making sure I’m satisfied before he tries to satisfy himself.