Page 136 of Toxic Kiss

“Why?”

“This.” I wave my hand at her. “Your kindness.”

“Oh…well, I’m sorry I’m not an inconsiderate cunt, how dare I be kind,” she snarls and tosses the blankets off as she gets up.

Ignoring the new throbbing behind my eyes, I march around the bed and grip her shoulders, stopping her from getting dressed.

“You don’t understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“I hated myself. You being nice to me only made me feel worse. Without even trying, you shoved in my face what a total dick I was for selling my soul for a record deal. I swore to my father that I wouldn’t turn into one of the guys he feared. His body wasn’t even cold in the ground before I betrayed my promise to him. To me.” My hands drop. “Whenever you were kind it held up a mirror to my soul, and what I saw staring back…it was ugly.”

Haven’s eyes lock with mine. “You really hurt me, Cy.”

“I know. But you hurt me when you left. I’d finally given in and accepted that I loved you, and you took off. You never came home in five years. You refused all my calls and ignored my texts. Why? Was it payback?”

Haven laughs, and the sound echoes in the room like a reminder of all our old ghosts.

“No.” Hands on her hips, she glares at me. “I heard you.”

“What?”

“Your phone. It rang, and you got up and went to the bathroom. I just had this feeling that I should follow you.” I take a step back, trying to recall who I was on the call with. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“I…I don’t.”

Tears well in her eyes.

“Of course you don’t. I have the words memorized. They are burned into my brain, and you don’t remember.”

She goes to step around me, and I grab her again.

“Let go of me, Cy.”

“No. I need to know. What did I say that made you leave?” Haven looks away. “Tell me.”

“Fine, you really want to know?”

She hits me with a look that cracks my heart.

“Yeah, some random chick begged me to fuck her. You know the type. Unfortunately, she’s still here.”

As the words spill from her mouth, it starts to come back to me, and my stomach drops through the floor.

“The lingerer that wants you to cuddle and shit. Fuck I hate that. Yeah, I’ll kick her out soon, but I may as well fuck her again first.”

A lone tear trails down her cheek, and her voice shakes, but she holds my stare.

“I don’t care if she heard or not. Let Haven hear me fucking someone else, she’s the one stupid enough to think I could ever like her. Don’t even go there, I fucking hate her, and that is never going to change.”

She stops, but the silence feels like an explosion. Haven steps back, and I let her even though everything in me is screaming.

“Got nothing to say? It’s funny, I always wondered what you’d do if you knew that I heard you speak the truth. Your shocked silence tells me so much.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, choking on things that no one can see.

“Haven…”