Page 109 of Toxic Kiss

“Can you make it to the back?”

“Yeah.”

I stumble into the bedroom, and Haven closes the door behind us. At any other time, this would be dangerous, but I couldn’t make a move even if I tried.

She helps me out of my shirt, and suddenly has a cool washcloth pressed to my neck. I let her. I’ll always let her.

She sits beside me. Her hands are efficient as she slowly wipes my body down, cooling my overheated skin.

“You’re the only thing that feels real anymore,” I say, looking into her eyes and the endless green that can capture me again and again. “Thank you for believing me.”

Her eyes shimmer, and a tear rolls down her cheek before she wipes it away.

“I love you,” I tell her, unable to keep it inside.

She freezes, eyes wide.

“I mean it. Always have. Please tell me you believe me.”

Haven licks her lips.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore, Cy. I don’t know if I can believe anything you say to me, or if any of it is true,” she says softly.

There is no anger in her words, and I really shouldn’t expect anything more, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to hear her say it back.

I cup her face and make her look at me.

“I know I’m a fucking prick, and I’m a mess, but I mean every word. I don’t deserve forgiveness, I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I want you. That is the truth.”

Her fingers brush my hair back, just once before she clears her throat.

“You scare the hell out of me,” she whispers.

“On stage or right now?”

“Both.”

“I scare myself.”

I run my thumb over her cheek.

“You need help, Cy.”

“Don’t we all?”

“Don’t. Don’t do that, not with me. I see it, and I believe you. So don’t make jokes and try to wipe it all away.”

My throat tightens with emotion. I can’t speak, so I just grab her hand. We sit in silence as the bus begins to move, and soon the hum of the wheels beneath us is a lullaby for the broken.

Somewhere in that quiet moment, the war between us changes again. It isn’t just love. It’s something darker. Something deeper. Something more possessive.

And it will ruin us both before it’s over.

chapter

twenty-nine

“Everything about us is smoke and mirrors…except the way we burn.” – Haven