Page 246 of Vexatious Queen

“Mum. Our situations are very different. Nash is not Christov, either.”

She nodded. “I get that, but…your father swore to me that he would never let what happened to me happen to you. And then he signed a marriage contract behind your back.” She covered her mouth as tears fell harder. “I did all of this to protect you, and history repeated itself anyway. I failed you. I left, and it was all for nothing. I still failed.”

Standing, I wrapped my arms around her, and she held me tight as she cried.

“No, you didn’t. I hate what you did, but Mum…I’m happy. I really am. I love the life I’ve built here. The friends I’ve met. My guys…all five of them, are…like pieces of my soul. I would choose them every time.”

She looked up at me, and I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as they slid down my cheeks.

“Tell me everything, I need to know. I need to hear it from you,” she said.

I nodded and sat down, wiping my eyes.

“I will, but first I need you to give me the same courtesy. I don’t want you to protect me or spare me from ugly truths, just be honest. I need that. I deserve that.”

She nodded. “You’re right…you do.”

Gripping my hands again, Mum rubbed her thumbs over mine. She was quiet for a moment as she gathered herself. I braced for the worst as she locked eyes with me and took me all the way back to when she was only nine. I didn’t think I could laugh and cry so much during one story, but I did. We only took a break to make some coffee and to grab the bag of chocolate chip cookies Nash had stashed in the desk drawer.

When she got to the part about Lawrence finding her, I held her hand tighter. She avoided the horrifying details but showed me her back and told me how he forced her to watch as his men beat Neil until he was unconscious. Lawrence had threatened to return for more and to steal me away, taking me somewhere she would never find me. That he would do worse to me. He’d said he would kill everyone she ever loved, that he would lock her up and never let her leave. There was no doubt in my mind that he would have done it all. Whether he succeeded without being killed…who knew, but she’d believed it and so did I.

The strange thing was that I remembered when it happened. Lizzy and I had spent most of that weekend watching sitcoms, laughing, and eating pizza. Then, suddenly, Mum had called and asked Mrs. Abbot if I could stay the week. I had thought that Mum sounded upset, but she had reassured me that she was fine, just tired.

“I didn’t recognize it at the time, but I was broken inside.” Mum cupped my cheek. “All I knew was that I never wanted you to suffer the way I had. The thought made me sick. The fact that Lawrence, Christov, and Vadin were all out there laughing, living their lives unaffected by what they did to me—it made me feel small, and I snapped.”

She took a shuddering breath.

“This may not make sense to you, but I needed to take my life back. I needed to be the one to handle this. My mind had become a toxic wasteland, and the person I was…was dying inside of me. I couldn’t run to Eddie and ask him to take care of it for me. The pain, fear, abuse, and even the cancer, had all finally pushed me to a point where I had to do this as much for myself as for you. I’m sorry. I was selfish. I see that now.”

“I just wish there had been a way for me to help.”

She gave me a sad smile.

“My beautiful daughter, always carrying everything on your shoulders. So young and already a better queen than I could ever be. I couldn’t put that on you. If you didn’t look truly shaken and grieving, Lawrence would’ve seen right through it. Once he found us, he was always around. He showed up at your school. Not to show himself to you, but he made sure the teachers told me he was there. He found me out grocery shopping one night, to rattle me. I drove around aimlessly for three hours, while Neil took you out for pizza just to make sure he wasn’t heading to the house. I needed you at Wayward, where the Curators could protect you, and Lawrence would be powerless to force you to do anything. Lawrence had no care for anyone, but he was not stupid, and he, like everyone, was scared of them.”

“That’s why he took Neil, he wanted insurance that I wouldn’t just run,” I said, and she nodded.

“I need you to know that Neil didn’t want to work for Lawrence. He got a new job, his dream job, and everything was great at first. It was a company called Colzan Marketing. I hadn’t heard of it, but they did large projects for television, movies, and books. I’d never seen Neil so excited. He worked really hard, and yes, we argued about things like the house and stuff. But you have to understand that Neil gave up his life to come with us and pretend to be my husband. He had no life outside of helping keep us safe, but we were working through it.”

Mum sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

“We didn’t know it at the time, but Colzan was under the Collier Enterprises umbrella. Things took a turn when we were invited to the company picnic. You were there, and so was Lizzy because we let you invite her to keep you company.”

I remembered that summer day. There had been hundreds of people, barbecue, fun games, and face painting. They even had a band playing, and I had flown a kite for the first time. Lizzy and I had a blast, and that was also the first time I’d gotten up the courage to talk to Rylan outside of school. His mother worked for the same company. It was one of those memories that stuck with me.

“I didn’t see Lawrence, but apparently, he saw us. He took it upon himself to stalk us after that day. He knew where we lived, our schedules, where you went to school, and who our friends were. He was biding his time as he watched from the shadows. He even went so far as to personally give Neil a big fat bonus for a job well done. And it just so happened to give us the extra funds to pay for the in-home medical care during my cancer treatments. I hate thinking that he only did it so that he could…rape me. How deranged could someone be?”

Mum closed her eyes and shook her head.

“God, I knew he was evil, but this is unbelievable,” I said.

“That’s why I lost it on Nash. Since the day I met Lawrence, he had done everything in his power to impregnate me, marry me, use me for his gain, and hell, he even tried to kill me. Seeing you with Nash…I lost it, but I’m sorry.”

She reached across the table and held out her hands. I took them in mine, and a few of the old wounds mended themselves.

“What happened with Neil,” I asked. “I thought he didn’t love me anymore.”

Mum shook her head.