Page 107 of Vexatious Queen

God, how I wished I could gather everyone I loved, put them in a protective bubble, and never let them leave.

FEBRUARY 5 – THURSDAY 5:00 PM

Theo

The road into town stretched ahead of us in a soft blur of headlights and frost. It was the kind of quiet drive that should’ve settled me, but it made every thought press harder against my skull. When I needed to calm my mind I’d normally take, Polly, out for a ride, but the roads were in no condition to go for a rip.

Ren sat beside me in the truck, her fingers brushing mine, and somehow that tiny bit of contact did more to steady me than anything had in months.

Mom was gone, Dad was alive but hollowed out, and home didn’t feel like home. Everything was wrong, and I had no answers for the people I loved.

I didn’t want Ren to see how scattered I actually was, but sitting next to her in the low glow of the dashboard made it harder to hide. She had a way of making me want to open up with just a loving glance. She and Liam had a lot in common that way.

“What’s going on,” Ren asked softly. “You’ve barely said two words the entire drive.”

Taking a deep breath, I spoke the words that I hadn’t said out loud yet, because saying them made it real.

“I’m not going to Harvard.”

She turned in her seat and looked at me.

“What?”

“I can’t go. I was already having reservations before my mom was killed, but now…I can’t leave.”

She sat quietly and didn’t argue, but my heart still hammered in my chest. I’d done it. The words were out in the universe and couldn’t be taken back. It felt like releasing a part of my soul. I hadn’t spent a single day in Cambridge, but it was my dream, and every goal had been set and completed with Harvard in mind.

“Are you okay,” she asked, linking our fingers, and I gripped her hand tight.

“Honestly…I don’t know.”

“I’m here for you, whatever you need,” she said.

“I know.”

Snowflakes melted on the windshield, not enough to warrant the wipers, but I had to clear the glass every few minutes. Some upbeat dance music that didn’t fit my mood was playing through the stereo.

“Do you know where you want to apply, or are you taking a gap year?”

“No, gap. I’m thinking Stanford. It’s close enough that I can drive home on weekends. And I can probably work my schedule to have Fridays or Mondays off. They have a top-tier business program, courses geared toward my specialization goal, and the SPLS is widely respected.”

“SPLS?”

“It’s the Stanford Pre-Law Society, an organization on campus that works closely with the law school. They offer mentorships, resources, and even test prep.”

“Have you spoken to Dean Henry yet?”

I shook my head.

“You’re the first to know my final decision.”

She squeezed my hand.

“I’m sorry, Theo. I know how much Harvard meant to you.”

“I just need to wrap my head around the change. Our lives are so different from what they were a year ago. Even if I still went, I wouldn’t be able to focus properly,” I said as we pulled into the Grillie’s parking lot. It was our new favorite take-out spot.

We had ten minutes to kill before our order was ready, so we just sat in the truck, staring out at the snow. People left, laughing and obviously satisfied with their meal and company, while others pulled in and parked.