Page 94 of Queen’s Gambit

While the coffee was brewing, I set the small table I used for my meals with a tray of cookies, sugar, and cream.

“Sit,” I said, pointing to the seat.

She walked over like I might bite her.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but…you seem so different. I feel like my daughter has disappeared, and now you’re….”

I raised my brow. “Let me guess, I’m acting like a man, like Father.”

She nodded. “Yes, that’s probably the best way to put it.”

“No, Mother. I’m acting like a woman in charge of her own life now. I was naive. I thought that Father saw me as a person, but I was wrong. Unlike you, who accepted your fate, I have not,” I said, and she pressed her lips together at the direct jab.

She had never wanted to marry my father. My mother had loved Uncle Dimitri and he loved her back. Despite Dimitri asking for her hand, my grandfather chose Vadin instead. History loved to repeat itself, but I would be the last of this family line forced into a loveless marriage.

“That’s not fair, Yuli. I love your father.”

I chuckled as I grabbed the cups and walked over to sit at the table with her.

“Maybe now, but you didn’t. You sold a piece of your soul to remain in this house and raise me. You found a way to live with it. A million others could as well. But I can’t.”

She looked away, her eyes shimmering with a pain that I understood, but there was no room in my heart for sympathy, not anymore.

My mother was still a beautiful woman. Her blonde hair was in a neat twist, not a hair out of place, which showed off her sparkling blue eyes. She could pass for my sister if not for the smile lines at the corner of her eyes and the little bit of silver in her hair.

“You’re right, I didn’t fight back. But I didn’t feel that I could. You’re so much stronger than I was, Yuli. You make me very proud to be your mother and a woman,” she said, shocking me.

She placed her hand on mine. The massive diamond ring on her finger seemed more like a ball and chain than a symbol of love, no matter how stunning. At one point, when I was young and didn’t understand what it meant, I’d been enamored with the glitter and asked her if I could have one too. Now, I wouldn’t want it for anything.

“I need you to know that I tried to talk your father out of the switch. He was ready to sign the marriage contract to Edmundo.”

“Then what happened,” I asked, not sure I wanted to hear this.

“Christov’s father called with an opportunity the same night Eddie made his offer. Your father said it was too good to pass up. It was a chance at moving our name up in all the political circles. I was livid and told him he was going to tear this family apart, but he didn’t listen. He’s always been a stubborn man. He said that I learned to love him, and you’d learn to love Christov.”

Tears spilled out of my mother’s eyes and slid down her cheeks.

“Maybe if I’d been stronger at your age and stood up for what I wanted, then you wouldn’t be going through this now. I’m so sorry.”

I wanted to rage at her and blame her all over again, but the sadness and guilt in her eyes were genuine. Gently tugging my hand away, I stood and walked over to my window.

“Please say something. Yell at me if you need to. I deserve it. I’ll do anything to have my daughter back.”

“I feel like I live in a cage and always have. The only time I’ve tasted true joy is when I’m with Eddie. He makes my soul fly. Locked up here as Father’s prisoner, I’m slowly dying inside. Each day it’s a little worse than the day before. And I’m not sure what is worse…knowing that I’m trapped, or that Father doesn’t care what happens to me.” I stared up at the clouds wishing that I could soar away with the birds. “No, I won’t yell, but I do need your help. If you’re serious about wanting us to reconnect, then you can’t argue or try to talk me out of doing this. I just need your help, because I can’t and won’t continue living like this the rest of my life.”

She met me at the window and grabbed my hands again, holding them tight.

“Anything. You tell me what you need, and as long as it’s not changing your father’s mind, I’ll do it.”

“You really mean that? You won’t tell Father?”

My mother lifted her chin, her blue eyes hardening with a determination I’d never seen in her before.

“You have my word. You’ve always been the most important person in my life. I will do whatever I can to help.”

I nodded as I fought back the urge to wrap her up in my arms with relief. She needed to prove that she meant what she said and wouldn’t break under my father’s questioning.

“The wedding to Christov is set for the last weekend in February, as you know, but I refuse to have his child.” My mother’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I need you to book a girl’s trip for us. We’ll bring Frida and my friend Ella.”