Page 137 of Queen’s Gambit

I grabbed the sweater and held it over Lilya’s head as he slammed something against the window. Stupid reinforced glass. Each blow jostled the car and my heart along with it.

“Mommy,” Lilya cried.

There was so much chaos. I thought I’d known fear, but I was wrong. Staring into Lilya’s beautiful face as the car filled with water, I understood the acidic taste burning me from the inside out.

Vlad disappeared, and the car wobbled again. I slapped my hand against the glass.

“Don’t leave us, please! Come back!”

“Mommy, I’m cold.”

My hands were frozen as I fought with the buckle again. The straps that were meant to protect my child were now trapping her like evil tentacles. Leaning over the seat was too awkward. I took a chance and slipped as slowly as I could into the back with my baby girl.

Lilya’s fearful eyes shimmered with tears as the water reached her chin. My entire body was shuddering, and I could only imagine what this felt like to her sensitive skin.

“Mommy, help.”

A surge of water put the level over her lips. For the first time since we went off the road, she began to struggle. Lilya’s strangled cries as she tried to get free ripped my heart out.

“Lilya, stop. Stop it…look at me.” Her big grey eyes locked with mine. “If the water covers your face, I’ll breathe in air and then give it to you, but you need to stay calm.” I took a deep breath, and she mimicked me. “Good, you’re so smart and so good. I love you, Lilya. We’re going to get you out of here.”

She tilted her head up. “Mommy, I’m scared.”

My lower lip trembled.

“I know, baby, so am I. But we are going to get out of this. Vlad will get us out.” She nodded even as tears streamed down her cheeks. “When the water goes over your nose, close your eyes and don’t breathe, just like in the pool. I’m going to put my lips over yours like a kiss, and I’ll blow air into your mouth. You breathe out when I remove my lips. Can you do this, baby?”

“I don’t know.”

This was so hard for a four-year-old to understand, but if anyone could, it was Lilya.

“You need to trust me, baby. Do you trust me?”

“Yes, Mommy,” she cried.

“Remember, breathe in when I give you air, but don’t breathe in the water.”

She whimpered, her eyes going wide as the water reached her nose. I wanted to freak out, but I needed to give the guys time to help us. So, I tried taking my own advice and staying calm. They were still out there, I could hear them talking and an odd clunking sound.

I pinched Lilya’s nose closed and sucked in a deep breath. As soon as my lips touched hers, she opened her mouth, and I slowly blew the air into her. One small hand gripped my arm, and it was as if she’d reached into my chest and squeezed my heart.

She couldn’t die. I would stay right here in this car with her.

“Vlad!” I screamed every time I came up for air. “Help me, she can’t breathe!”

Fear colder than the ice around me flowed through my veins when Lilya’s hand dropped off my arm, and she didn’t take my next breath.

“Vlad! Please. Please, dear God, don’t do this.”

There was a loud thud and a roar, and then the car jerked. The sudden movement threw me to the side, and I splashed under the water. Gasping as I came up, I righted myself before sucking in another breath for Lilya. I tried to get her to take it, but her lips remained still.

The car was lurching backward, and the water was getting lower as it rushed out the window. Lilya’s head was back above water, but her little lips were blue. Vlad suddenly appeared at the broken window.

“Come on, get out, I’ll get her.”

“Her belt is stuck it won’t release.”

I didn’t want to leave her. Vlad reached through the glass and unlocked the door. He grabbed me under the arms and pulled me out like I was a doll.