Page 30 of Burn Me Down

“Dammit!” I slammed my hands down on the hood of the truck. “Derek, stop this.”

We both froze as I swallowed down my pounding pulse. I hadn’t meant to out him like that. Until this moment, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure.

“What did you just call me?”

Sighing, I crossed my arms but still refused to move out of the way. “You’re Derek, right? Asher’s brother? I’m guessing you took me to get back at Vi but couldn’t bring yourself to hurt me since you seem to target bad people, and I’m not a bad person.”

The driver’s door opened, and he slowly got out. This was definitely the stupidest thing I’d ever done, but I didn’t want him to disappear. He was smart, or he wouldn’t still be loose all these months after escaping the asylum Vi told me about. Yes, he could kill but…there was compassion in him. I knew parts of the story from her and Asher, but I wanted to hear it from Derek’s lips. It was important to me. I might not have asked to be dragged into the middle of this all those years ago, but it was too late to go back now.

He blocked out most of the light as he stopped in front of me. His large frame and black mask were a million times more intimidating with the dark shadows of the night.

“How long have you known?” Derek growled.

“I wondered, with your unique colored eyes, but….” I leaned forward and took a deep breath of the smoky scent on his shirt. “The smell of smoke hammered it home. Am I right? You’re Derek?”

His incredible blue eyes searched my face. “I am.”

“Will you show me your face now?”

He looked away and took a step back like I’d hit him. “My face is not something you want to see.”

“Yes, it is.”

I stepped toward him, but he took another step back. I did it again, and so did he until we were in a strange, slow chase scene around his truck. If anyone saw this, I was sure they would laugh their ass off, but my anger was bubbling.

“Stop it,” I said and clenched my fists. “Don’t run away.”

“Why do you care?” His voice echoed with the loud bellow. “Just take your freedom and go. Get out of my life and leave me and my heart alone. I’m trying to do the right thing here.” He held his hands out toward the open road. “There is a road. Use it.”

Did he even notice that he said I was in his heart? It didn’t seem like it, but we both seemed to be struggling with the same disease. I had no idea what it was about Derek, but he had me all up in my feels in the strangest way possible. The last week had been eye-opening for many different reasons, but most of all, because someone I hardly knew had made me feel seen, truly seen, for the first time.

Stomping toward Derek, his eyes went wide as I pushed him in his chest until his back hit the side of the truck. “You listen to me, Derek West. First of all, the night you killed Vi’s parents, I was with her. So, for no other reason, you don’t get to drive off until you look me in the eye and tell me why I had to watch my best friend’s parents die. I don’t want to hear it from her. I want your side of the story.”

I poked him, and he lifted his hands like he was surrendering. “Second. You can’t go around kidnapping me, fuck with my head, and make me feel shit for you, then dump me off at the side of the road like I’m a bag of garbage. Nope, not fucking happening. I deserve more than that.”

I poked him again, and his eyes went wide. “Third. I do want to see you, all of you, and honestly, if I was so fucking shallow as to not like someone because of their looks, then I’m not a very good person, and you shouldn’t want anything to do with me. Am I making myself clear?”

“You feel something for me,” Derek asked, his voice soft and full of so much shock that it broke my heart.

That one question and the vulnerability in his eyes was the final straw. I wasn’t letting him leave. If I had to jump in the truck bed as he drove away, I wouldn’t let go. I could be signing my death certificate, but I didn’t think so. At least, I hoped not. From everything I’d seen and heard, I wanted to give him the chance that no one else had.

“I know it makes no sense. Logically, I know that, but yes, I do.”

I watched his hand slowly cup my cheek, his thumb rubbed over my skin, and I leaned into his touch. How could someone with such a terrible reputation be so attentive and sweet? He truly was two different people trapped in the same body.

“This can’t be real,” he said, his eyes hardening.

“Don’t bother listening to whatever voice tells you this is all a lie.” I placed my hands on his muscled chest. “I’m right here, and I’m telling you I do. I don’t know what that means or looks like, but I want to start with an honest conversation and for you to stop hiding behind that piece of leather.”

“No, this can’t happen.” He tried to step away, but I gripped the front of his black t-shirt. “Let go, Beck. It’s better if I just go. Even if you mean what you say and don’t run off screaming the moment you see me, we can never have a life together. I’m a fugitive, a wanted man across the country and probably beyond that. I will forever be looking over my shoulder. I never should’ve taken you. I was weak and let my…fuck…the point is, I’m righting a wrong.”

“But you did take me, and now here we are, and I don’t scare easily. So, what is it going to be, Derek? Are you going to show me who you really are and what you look like, or will you run because you’re too scared that I’ll reject you?”

Derek was right. There was no normal future for us. Never mind the fact that Vi would lose her mind, and I was putting years of friendship on the line for a serial arsonist I didn’t know. But, my gut was telling me not to let him leave, that he was so much more than what anyone thought of him or gave him credit for. I wanted to get to know the man behind the mask. I wanted to meet the real Derek West.

Derek

I squashed the little flutter in my chest. It was a hard and painful lesson learned that I was not worth loving. I certainly didn’t need Beck deciding she wanted to be a pinnacle of morality for my sake.