Page 88 of Never Till Now

“Funny, I don’t remember having a child who is older than myself.” I watch her face drop, but her eyes scan me up and down as my post-workout attire isn’t believable. “I suggest if you are not a guest, you leave the premises. If you are, please stop harassing the guests or I will make sure you never step foot in any of my hotels again.”

With one last scowl, she heads to the elevators. I turn to Clyde and nod, walking past the memory-filled hallways Lauren and I shared here.

“God, I’ve missed you,” I pant as I lace our hands, driving deeper into her tight wet center.

A breathy moan transmits on my neck as her long legs wrap around my waist, pushing me in farther. “I’m so close.” Her erratic breathing continues as she yanks her hands out of my grasp and digs them into my back.

I bend Lauren’s knee to the side, exposing her folds to open her farther, granting me better access to grind against her clit. Her breath hitches as her back forms a bigger arch off the bed. My eyes stay transfixed on her mouth as it slightly parts. Her eyes widen, telling me her orgasm is a few strokes away. After my next thrust, I don’t ram back in. The tip of my dick remains still, barely poking in her entrance.

“I should stop this right now so you know how aggravating it is to want something you can’t have,” I grit as her arms and legs wrap around me tightly and she pushes herself up, stealing the pleasure.

I jolt up to the darkness encompassing the room. My body is slick with sweat and my boxers feel moist against my erection. I haven’t finished while having a vivid sex dream since I was fourteen. I toss back the covers attempting to relieve some aggression. I didn’t want Lauren to have this much of a hold on me, but she damn well does. I scald myself in the shower and try to mentally see through the steam. I’m trying to put myself in Lauren’s position. As if understanding her viewpoint will make mine hurt less. She’d rather deal with the bit of pain in losing me now than down the road getting hit with unbearable pain if we can’t cut it. But I’m fucking all in. She doesn’t realize that I will face any challenge we go through because she is worth it.

I drown myself in the notes of my piano, but my fingers gravitate to the minor chords, adding to my sorrow. What was once an escape for me is now tortured thoughts of the past. I spend the rest of the night going over meetings that I don’t want to attend and wondering if Lauren has any similar dreams of me.

Or if she even thinks about us at all. I miss her. I miss my family. Except for Emmett. I’ve always had to complete his tasks, which is why I’m in this fucking predicament in the first place.

“I haven’t been honest with you,” I say through the phone immediately after my father’s greeting. “I’m thankful for the life you’ve provided for your children and the family unit, but I don’t want the CEO position.” I verbally vomit before I can back down like I have so many times before. “I enjoy working with the finances and charts, but I’d rather have a schedule with longer shifts and more days off. I want to enjoy life.”

“A shift like a certain nurse we know, perhaps?” he chimes in with smooth contentment and my insides burn with rage, or sadness. I can’t tell anymore.

“Dad, she clearly wants nothing to do with me or she would be here by now. Or at least fucking call.” I try but fail miserably to hide my aggravation. “Hell, even send a text after I put my fucking heart on the line.”

“Did you now?” His voice rises at the end as if he seemed surprised.

“Look, Lauren aside, the past few years, I never wanted to settle down. My job was a void. But even if I can’t have her, I can aim for the life path I want.”

“Thank you, son.” The admiration fills his voice, bringing a wave of confusion over me.

“What?”

“For finally telling me what you need. I know this life isn’t what you’ve dreamed of.” He pauses with a soft chuckle. “Material things and an extravagant lifestyle aren’t something you’ve taken advantage of, like your brother, or sister for that matter. You would rather drive that cheap shitty street bike than the sports cars. You’d rather the cabin in the woods instead of all the luxury conveniences at your beck and call.”

“Then why have you kept giving me more responsibilities?” My ribs squeeze as my frustration grows with how he’s been letting Emmett slack and me pile on more than I have wanted.

“Because you have never told me no.” He clears his throat.

“We’re family.”

“My father started this company when I was a child. My siblings and I wanted this lifestyle too, and we did everything we could to help him achieve his dream over the years. That being said, your mother and I never expected our children to feel forced to follow our lives, as nice and convenient as it would be.”

“But you let us go to school for business and marketing. You have all been grooming us as the next generation of heirs since we were children.”

“We never told you that you had to. It was highly influenced, but if you wanted to move out and work as a carpenter or something, I’d respect you following your life path.”

The wheels keep turning as everything starts to click into place through my cluttered mind.

“That’s why you’ve never pushed Emmett or Kelsie with her recent three-year maternity leave.”

“Exactly. I know Emmett is cut out for this business and if he wants to continue blowing money with his current lifestyle, he’s going to need to put in more work for the family business.” I can hear his smile through the other line. “He wants this, but your mother and I treated him like the youngest and now realize he needs a push to get shit done.”

“Yeah? How will that happen?” I laughed sarcastically.

“One thing I’ve learned about life, son, is that timing is everything. We will work to get you on your desired life path, Adam. We need to get a few things in place first because I can’t let Aspen crumble to hell.”

“Thank you for understanding. I’ll be here for you until things are figured out.”

We hang up the phone and I feel weight ascend in an out-of-body experience. My head feels light as my relief for taking a stand awakens new respect for myself. If I can’t have Lauren, I can at least have a bit of my dream life.