Page 97 of Knot So Social

“No.” His vehemence makes me twitch. “We only just met in this lifetime. In how many others have we been soul mates? I feel it deep in my being, cara mia. That must be the only explanation.” Alessandro sags down. “But these are only words, and those are of no worth to you. Which is why I long for magic to prove myself.”

I stare at him, the earnestness pouring off the alpha as firm as the floor under me. “Your words . . . aren’t meaningless.”

He tosses me a lopsided smile. “A wonderful first step. Then let me pledge to you that I’ll never reveal your private life to others. You may have as many meltdowns or panic attacks as you need in my presence and I’ll never think less of you. No, I’ll always be in awe that you chose me, cara mia.”

A sharp lump sticks in my throat. “Cara mia. What does it mean?”

“My darling.” His cheeks flush.

Those words warm my heart in a way it hasn’t been stirred in a decade. At least, not outside of my heat. This inner response comes without any lustful pheromones. It’s been a long time since anyone called me their darling and meant it. Well, maybe Jeremy did, but that was still part of a contract.

“We Italians are expressive people,” Alessandro says, dropping his gaze to our joined hands. “It doesn’t have to mean in a lover’s way . . . if you don’t like it.”

“No. I don’t mind.” I slide my fingers back and forth through his, my skin tingling under his warmth. I guess I missed touch more than I realized. Touch and honesty. “I’m a fraud, Alessandro.”

“Oh, no, Willow. You are not. You are a wonderful, complex woman who developed a skin to survive. Skin? Is that the word?”

Tears burn up the back of my throat and spill from my eyes.

“Merda!” he mutters. “We are all frauds in some way, hiding from the world.”

Sobs well up inside me. “I really am hiding. You don’t get it! I can’t even go outside.” I jump to my feet, grabbing the bench for stability. “Look at this!” I yank at my belt, the clasp catching in my hands in my hurry.

Alessandro wraps his hands around mine, caging them. “Cara mia, I’m not sure what you’re doing, but I promised to be your friend. I don’t need—”

A laugh bubbles through me, erupting with snot and more tears. The alphas I knew took my body and scorned my friendship. This one’s so determined to honor my boundaries he won’t even let me get undressed.

I back up one step to break his hold and finally get my belt undone. I shove my dress slacks down to reveal the scars the lightning left me.

“Fuck,” he whispers, eyes widening.

“Lightning hit me twice, can you believe it? The odds require the power of 10 many times over. Which means it’s not odds at all, but fate.” My voice rises with each word. “I’m cursed! My alphas abandoned me, lighting struck me and destroyed my body. And now I can’t put a single foot outside my door, not even to save my dog!”

I gasp for breath, the truth shaking my body to the core.

Alessandro reaches out to touch the spiraling scars. “Lightning did this? Hit you?”

“Twice.” I scrub furiously at my tears. I must look a mess right now.

He rolls onto his knees, grasps my leg and presses his forehead to the red marks. A spasm flutters through me.

“Grazie,” the alpha whispers, lips brushing the scars. “Thank you, for sparing her life.”

My mind blanks.

He kisses the rippling scars over and over. “Thank you. Thank you for letting me meet her in this life. Thank you.”

How many times have I cursed the lightning for destroying my life? How often did I beg to die as I lay in the hospital bed, unsure if I’d ever walk again, or sweating through agonizing physical therapy? But this man is thankful I’m alive.

The dark, lonely void I’ve been holding inside cracks, shattering in an instant. I grip his black curls and hunch over as the bone-deep sobs cascade through me. My legs give out and I sink down.

Alessandro catches me and holds me over his shoulder as it all pours out in big, broken screams. The bitter pain of abandonment and rejection, of broken promises, the misery of starting life over from nothing, and then the heart-stopping lightning attacks that locked me down in the hospital bed, not once but twice.

When my legs cramp, he tugs me down onto his lap and cradles me close, tender in a way I can’t comprehend. His gentleness reminds me of all I’ve been denied.

I drown on my tears and still I wail. Through it all, Alessandro sits with me, patting my back and whispering foreign words to his beloved. The idea of multiple lives is ridiculous, and yet even though he’s basically a stranger, I’ve never felt more at ease than I do perched in this alpha’s lap—at peace enough to cry out all the pain I thought I’d locked away forever.

Snot drips down my face as I hiccup, the ultimate definition of ugly crying plastered everywhere. When I look up for something to use, Alessandro leans back and strips his shirt.