Page 19 of Knot So Social

“Yep. Luckiest man alive over here.” I raise my glass toward the others. “Followed by Harrison over there, and then the newly engaged couple.”

We all laugh, but a strange uneasiness coils in my chest. Maybe just because I’m tired and unable to enjoy the merriment. Or maybe because Tracey and I are monogamous. Tracey’s never said she wants to add to our pack, but I can’t picture how I’d go sharing her if she did. These three men seem to make it work, and having a pack must come with some financial advantages.

But to watch another man plunge his cock into my woman? I’m not sure I could handle it.

The only time I did was when Jeremy and I shared a girl back in high school. He and I shared everything back then. Despite his tendency to screw things up, my brother always treated other people right. It was me who botched that relationship.

Maybe that was when we stopped being best friends.

My phone rings. “Sorry,” I mumble while I dig it out of my pocket. Jeremy again. He’s got the worst timing.

“Who?” Tracey asks, her smile deceptively calm.

“Jeremy,” I say. “I’ll call him back later.”

She makes a dismissive sound in her throat, my fiancé none too impressed with my younger twin. It’s not like he does himself any favors, with his constantly changing work and limited dreams. Plus, there was that time he told her she needed to let me breathe.

“Who’s Jeremy?” Beau asks.

“My brother.” I gulp down a big mouthful of beer.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.”

I nod. “We’re twins, actually.”

“Get out of town!” Beau screeches. “Identical?”

I shake my head and Tracey pipes in, “They’re not real close. Jeremy’s a bit of a loose cannon.”

She says that a lot.

Guilt claws up my throat. I, of all people, know Jeremy’s different. A dreamer, perhaps, but if anything, I’d say a humanist. Somehow, he manages to dodge the crushing pressure of career performance and drift through life with a smile on his face—a feat I could never manage. Dad says I got all the ambition and left Jeremy all the zen.

Beau rocks forward and pats my knee. “What a shame. I wish I’d been closer to my brother.”

“Sorry, Beau-Beau,” Tracey purrs, leaning over to claim his hand. “We didn’t mean to bring up sad memories.”

Right. His brother died in a swimming accident when Beau was ten.

A chill runs down my spine at the thought of my brother dying. Regardless of not being close now, we did everything together growing up.

A server comes to take us to our table, but the guilt lies heavy in my chest. We’re halfway through starters when Jeremy phones again. He’s used to me not taking his calls, but if he rings three times, something’s definitely wrong.

“I need to take this,” I say, pushing back from the table.

Tracey flashes me a loaded glare. “Can’t it wait, honey? We just started eating.”

Looks like I’ll be paying for this later.

“I’ll be right back.” I stride down the hallway toward the bathrooms as I answer. “Jeremy? What’s up?”

“Hey, Joel.” His deep voice hums with uncertainty.

I lean against the wall and lift my hat to scratch at my sweaty scalp. “Hey. I’m in the middle of something, so is it urgent?”

“Oh, um. Thing is, I had a pretty shitty day and . . .”

“Fuck. Please tell me you’re not calling just because you had a bad day, bro? I’m gonna be in deep shit with Tracey, so let’s make it quick, yeah?” My alpha nature rises, bothered by the disruption and the shit it’s gonna cause later.