Page 134 of Knot So Social

I roll my eyes. “It’s only eighteen fucking minutes.”

“Feels like a lifetime.”

I blow out my lips, but the unease in my belly unwinds. He’s laughing again and teasing me. My brother’s shedding his old, ill-fitting skin, and making way for the new version of himself. I can’t wait to see it.

And maybe even form our own pack.

A vibrant blue-gray sheen ripples in the sky beyond the city center skyscrapers, promising rain to wash the heat-struck city clean. Looks like Joel and I are getting a fresh start as well.

My phone beeps with an incoming call. “Hey, I’ll call you back later,” I tell Joel. “Someone’s trying to reach me.”

“Right. Seeya.”

I hang up and click over, thinking maybe Willow’s calling me from the house. Instead, I see my contact for Heat Wave. My stomach’s going through a rollercoaster today.

When I answer, Logan’s voice blares on the other end. “Jeremy, how’s the leg going?”

“Better today.” I shift my ass forward on the bench seat, silently testing the strained groin muscles. “I can get by with just one crutch.”

“That’s great to hear. I’m calling to ask when you can discuss what’s next for you at Heat Wave?”

Is “never” an acceptable answer? Can I just go on, swimming in oblivion, things being undefined? Sounds easy but will only give me anxiety. Best to get uncomfortable things over with sooner, right? Plus, who knows how long those two inside will be occupied.

“I’m free today, actually.”

“Great. Does 1pm work? I can call you back then.”

I glance over at the house. Alessandro and Willow could do with having their own space for a bit. “How about I swing by the office?”

“Oh, really? Are you sure? A phone call is fine; wouldn’t want to put you out.”

“Yep, I’m sure. It will do me good to stretch my legs, and I need to drop off the Heat Wave gear anyway.”

I say goodbye and hang up, staring at my screen for a minute without truly seeing it. Jobs come and go, but this one is different. Felt like I had purpose. But I can’t stay on and help omegas with their heats. And if I leave, I’m jobless again. Not a good position to be in when courting an omega.

Whatever happens at this meeting, it doesn’t seem like any of the outcomes will bring me peace.

Chapter forty-two

Joel

I rock my midday schooner from one side of the rounded glass heel to the other. The froth slowly pops and slides down the glass’s inner wall, the tiny spray mixing its tart scent with the aroma of frying grease and human sweat. The beer garden’s courtyard crowd has grown steadily over the past hour now that people are out seeking lunch.

At my feet, Jock snuffles, his blocky nose making him wheezy at the best of times, but now he snorts and sneezes at the influx of odors. He’s already wound himself around the table leg three time. Instead of untangling him, I leave him trapped against my thigh, the body contact oddly reassuring.

Find out what she thinks, Jeremy said.

I can’t get those words out of my head. Willow’s got no reason to think anything about me; we’ve barely even introduced ourselves. She just threw herself at me and I picked her up like it was the most natural thing in the world.

If I went back, would she do it again?

But right now, I’m not sure I can trust myself. I loved Tracey for two years years, but I’ve walked away from her like it’s nothing. The ache in my heart disagrees with me, but regardless of my emotions, I’ve severed ties with chilling finality.

What if that’s all I amount to? A useless man without a heart? One who never tries hard enough, or can’t keep a relationship. Perhaps I have an inbuilt flaw lodged deep inside me. If that’s the case, I can’t inflict myself on someone like Willow.

Someone like Willow? I scoff under my breath. Makes it sound like I know exactly who she is.

Jock turns his head and whines, nostrils snuffling.