Page 60 of 1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Forty-Two

“There was an after-party at Lotus’s house, and he kind ofdragged me downstairs to the pool room.”

“Did you do it on a pool table?” Janice gasps, and I can’tdiscern if she’s outraged or delighted. Probably torn.

“No, I told you we just kissed, but it was like one of thosekisses you dream about. It was a lot like the first time we kissed, but he’smore confident now. More aggressive.”

“And you love that hard shit. Letme guess. That vibrator I gave you for Christmas got a workout last night.”

“No.”

“This morning?”

“Neecey, will you stop?” I laugh.“Though I must admit…best present ever.”

“I also gave you a bottle of rosé. Vibrations andlibations.”

“That rosé was bomb, and somehow, even thoughit’s not even my favorite vibe, it’s become like my lucky charm.” I take aslurpy sip of my coffee. “Even when I go on trips and know I won’t use it, Istill take it with me.”

“Now that is weird. All us kids needtherapy.”

“I feel like we’re getting way off topic here. I did not usethe vibrator.” I used my hand, and it didn’t help.“But Naz was the last thing I thought about when I went to sleep and the firstthing I thought about when I woke up. He wants to see me. Like, take me out orwhatever.”

“And you said?”

“No, of course.”

“Why ‘of course’? I’m sick and damntired of you complaining about the people you meet on Unhinged.com. This is themost excitement I’ve heard from you ever about anyone.”

“It’s not that simple, and you know that. Cliff’s recoveryis so fragile. I don’t want to do anything that will set him back.”

In the quiet that follows, I imagine she’s reliving thehorror of Cliff’s overdose. We both rushed home, me from LA and Janice fromChicago, where her family lives now. Mama was inconsolable. Daddy was pissed but also terrified.

“I’ve never been so scared in my life,” Janice finallywhispers.

“Exactly,” I say, taking my coffee back to the bedroom. “Ican’t do anything to risk that happening again.”

“Look, I get it, but we both know Naz had nothing to do withCliff’s shit. He brought that onhimself. Why should you ignore an attraction as strong as it sounds like thisone is because Cliff might not like it?”

“It’s more serious than not liking it,” I say, deciding I’mnot quite ready to be up and climbing back into bed. “He’s obsessed with theidea that Naz took everything that was meant for him and ruined his life. Idon’t want to send him spiraling.”

“Look, at his big age, Cliff is gonnahave to get over this. That man is thirty-one yearsold, has a job, and is looking better than I’ve seen him in years. Trust thathe’s getting better, Tee, and take something for yourself. Besides, who says hehas to know about it? What’s the harm in one date?”

“There’s been enough harm done, so I don’t plan to findout.”

Long after we disconnect, I’m mid-Sunday reset—washing mysheets, wiping down the counters, mopping the floors, and preparing my mealsfor the week—when the phone rings again. A smile curls on my lips when LotusRoss’s name flashes onscreen.

“Lotus, hey.” I leave the kitchen and the whir of mydishwasher, stepping out onto the small balcony with a view that makes thisstudio worth the rent. “How are you?”

“Recovering,” she says, her voice carrying that husky timbreI recognize as exhaustion. “I guess being pregnant really can slow you down, orat least it should, according to my over-protective husband.”

“He’s so sweet with you. It’s nice seeing a man that gonefor his wife, especially a professional athlete. You always think of them asdogs, but Kenan is obviously completely devoted.”

“He is awesome,” Lotus agrees softly.“Which actually brings me to the reason for my call.”

“Oh, yeah?” I settle onto the wrought-iron chair on mybalcony and tip my head back to relish the breeze across my face. “How so?”

“It’s his fortieth birthday soon.”

I didn’t realize there was so much of an age gap between theRosses. I remember being impressed at all Lotus has accomplished by the age oftwenty-nine.