Page 17 of 1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Forty-Two

“I give them something to talk about, to bond about. And sometimes I even save lives, too. And maybe youdon’t believe me, but I can remember the name of every girl who wrote me aletter after I did a TV movie about anorexia when I was eighteen. And do youknow how many suicide centers had an increase in calls—in saves—afterone of my television movies back in the day aired? Do you have any idea at allhow many people write me to say that they sawthemselves in one of my characters? Who thank me forplaying a character who got through the bad stuff and was stronger at the end?Do you have any idea—any fucking idea—of how much thatcan impact people?”

He swallowed, his mouth dry. He didn’t want to have thisconversation. But he had to. If nothing else, he owed her that.

So he drew in a breath, released it, and said, very simply,“No.”

“Then you need to just shut—”

“But I know the other side of it,” he said, then hurried onwhen he saw the fury on her face. “I know the other side too damnwell, and I’m sorry, okay? But there’s nothing grand or heroic about what I’veseen. No lives saved, just lives and households destroyed chasing this fucking dream of Hollywood.”

Her expression was tight. Her eyes coldand appraising. She looked ready to bite his head off. But all she said was,“Tell me.”

He closed his eyes, wishing he could take the last hourback. Hell, wishing he’d told Damien and Ryan to let Leah take this case andrun with it. But he didn’t. And somehow, that one simple choice had led himhere. To this moment he wanted to avoid but knew hehad to face.

“I was born in New York,” he said, looking at his hands andnot at her face. “When I was six, my mom left my dad for an actor. My dad was ex-military, and he’d moved into private security. He wantedcustody, and my mom didn’t argue. She was too happyfucking her fake daytime TV doctor to care what happened to me.”

He glanced up, saw that she was listening, then looked awayagain before the confusion—and the sympathy—in her eyes cut straight into hisgut. “My dad died on a job. Trying to rescue a little girl from a kidnapper,and it all went down wrong. Three men lost, and the kidnapper, too. But thelittle girl was safe. My dad died in the hospital. He told me he was sorry, buthe didn’t regret it. That he’d rescued that girl. That his life had value.”

“And your mother’s didn’t.”

Simon shrugged. “She cheated and then left. I don’t supposehe’d think anything else.”

“But that’s what you think, too. That’s why you starteddoing this. Security. Protection.”

His chest tightened. He’d almost forgotten she was there, he’d been so wrapped up in those horrible memories.He drew a breath, then met her eyes and nodded.

“My mom got custody of me, of course, and she followed loverboy to LA. They got married. She quit her job—she wasa fund manager. I didn’t understand what that meant back then, but I knew shewas good at her job. She ended up being his manager. Not that it went anywhere.He got one or two tiny roles. We lived in a hovel, and bothof them ignored me. I was something to be dealt with. I wasn’t herchild. I was an inconvenience that had to be managed in orderto get to the job. But there was never any job.”

He closed his eyes as if he could ward off the rest of thememories, but they just kept coming.

“He started to blame my mother. Started to beat her. I wasthirteen then and tried to fight back. He bloodied me up good. Then he…”

“Simon?”

His closed his eyes, wanting to saythat she was the last person he wanted to tell this to, because how the hellcould she understand? But when he opened his eyes, he saw the compassion on herface and felt himself melting. “He killed her.”

“I’m so sorry.” She pushed the pillow aside, then leanedforward to take his hand.

“He came after me. I ran. And when I came back with thecops—he was dead, too. That selfish bastard was solost in the goddamn Hollywood game that he killed himself and my mother when hecouldn’t make it. And she was too much of a fool to see what he really was.”

Her fingers tightened around his. “It wasn’t your fault.”

The words felt hard. Wrong. He knew they were true, and yetit didn’t change the fact that this town—that goddamnbusiness—had destroyed his entire world. And not just the one time, becausethere was Kristen, too, and—

He shook himself. “I have issues with your industry. I knowit. I’m sorry. I took it out on you, and that was a shittything to do.”

For a moment, he was certain she was going to lash outagain. After all, Frannie’s temper was famous. But all she said was, “I get it.A lot of folks have been burned by the industry. Me included.”

“But you came out the other side unscathed and famous withyour perfect life, living large in LaLa Land.”

Her eyes darted to the side, but he caught the glimmer of atear and once again regretted his words.

“I wouldn’t go so far as that,” she said. “I have fame andmoney, but I don’t have—” She started to tug her hand away, but he tightenedhis grip.

“What?”

“Nothing. I have everything, just like you said. Believe me,I’m not complaining.”

No, she wasn’t. But she wasn’t telling him the truth,either. His chest constricted, and he heard himself asking, “Do you want totalk about it?”