Page 11 of Sinner’s Game

“I was in LA this morning interviewing a witness,” he says, “but it took no time at all. The guy knows nothing. So now I’m back. Sorry I missed lunch.” He glances down at Jake. “Heading to the B.E.A.C.H.?”

Jake’s ears perk up, and I roll my eyes. “Don’t bother spelling. He understands it all. Yeah, but I have to hit Pacific Property first to grab Ellie. Walk with me? Then you can go with us to the B-place later?”

“Wish I could, but I’ll walk with you for a bit.”

“Heading back to the station?”

“No. I’m off for the day. But I’ve got a late lunch date that may turn into post lunch fun, if you know what I mean.”

As we walk, I give him a sidelong glance. “I know exactly what that means. And who’s getting lucky?”

He chuckles. “Potentially getting lucky. And other than me? It’s Darrell.”

“Darrell? Someone new? Is it serious?” I hope it is. He’s been mourning his former girlfriend for a while, and while I totally get it, I’m sad for my friend and want him happy again.

Lamar Gage is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. A former child star, he gave it up as he got older because he wanted to be a cop—and he’s a damn good one. I don’t know how his parents—both tied-in to Hollywood—feel about that, but as far as I’m concerned, Lamar is living his best life.

“Not serious,” he says, answering my question about Darrell. “I’m not ready for that. But he’s a friend and there are benefits.” He says the last with a smirk on his lips and a gleam in his eyes.

I sigh. In the time I’ve known him, Lamar has had more friends-with-benefits than actual relationships. “Honestly, I don’t know how you do that.”

“Well, there’s this anatomical response. And just because we’re both guys, I assure you the parts match—”

“You’re hilarious. I mean, I don’t know how you can casually sleep with someone. I don’t get that at all.”

He hooks his arm around my shoulders. “That’s because you’re special, Brandy. Don’t let anyone try to shape you into anything else.”

I hip-check him like he’s being an ass, but the truth is I appreciate what he says. There are times that I wish I was made differently. More like Ellie who, before she settled down with Devlin, swore she was having a great time seeing as many people as she wanted to.

Of course, I knew that wasn’t the truth. In her whole adult life, she never had a relationship before Devlin, just sex. For the buzz, for venting frustrations. Sometimes just for fun.

I spent many years worrying about my bestie. But looking back, maybe that’s my problem. I long for the deeper stuff, but at the same time, it terrifies me. That getting close part. The inevitable revelation of all my tragic secrets. Not that my terror is the only thing stopping me from getting close. The truth is that most guys aren’t interested in dating after I make it clear there won’t be any sex until there’s something deeper between us.

Maybe I need to be more like Lamar—only in it for the fun.

Or maybe he’s right, and I should stick to being me.

I guess at the end of the day, I don’t have much of a choice. Me is all I’ve got.

I must make a face, because Lamar says, “What?”

I shrug. He studies me for a moment, then says, “Speaking of non-casual sex, what’s going on in your love life?”

This time I wrinkle my nose. “Not a thing.”

He stops on the sidewalk, and I have to tug Jake to a halt so as to not get too far away. “Oh, no,” I say. “Not you, too.”

“Me, too, what?”

I shoot him a scowl. “According to Ellie, the whole world seems to have been on the Brandy and Ronan train. Except for Brandy and Ronan.”

“So there’s no train?”

“Not one that’s left the station. We’re just friends,” I add, over Lamar’s snort of laughter.

He starts walking again, and Jake and I fall in step beside him. “And that’s a good thing?”

“Moot point since it’s the only thing.”