Page 33 of Memories of You

But he could do it. He took a step forward. He could man up,go up there, and get Abby. He had to.

Leah frowned at him. “You okay?”

“Just a little head swimming from the drugs.” He felt nausearise as he imagined being on that fire escape, the world tilting until he wasparallel to the ground. Darrin taunting him.

He’d drugged Renly; he must have drugged Abby. What else washe capable of doing?

Renly knew the answer. Anything.

And if Renly fucked up, then he also up fucked up Abby’sonly chance. He drew in a breath. He needed to be the one in that room. Heneeded to be the one who got to her. He needed to be her knight in shiningarmor. Because goddammit, he knew that he couldn’t live without her, and he neededto tell her as much.

But he also had to be smart, and that reality—the reality thathe’d been trying to suppress since he left the SEALs—rose up in front of him.The hardest choice in his career.

He looked at Leah. “Can you give me a minute? I need to talkto Ryan.”

“Sure. Of course.”

He could tell that she was curious, but she was too much ofa professional to ask. Beside him, Ryan finished speaking to a local SWATofficer, then turned his attention to Renly. “What’s on your mind?”

“I can’t go to Dubai, and I can’t climb that ladder.”

Ryan nodded slowly. “Vertigo?”

Renly took a step back. “You know?”

“I suspected. You told us about the head injury. I’ve seenyou stumble a couple of times. And I can’t think of any reason other than thatthat you wouldn’t want to go up that ladder to rescue the woman you love.”

Renly smiled. He hadn’t told anyone he loved her, but it wasnice to know that it showed. Hopefully that meant she knew, too.

“I’m an asshole. I should have told you a long time ago. Ishould have told you at least before you assigned me to Dubai. The type ofoperation that is, I’d be useless in the field.”

“I think that’s my call,” Ryan said. “And you and I knowthere’s a hell of a lot more to an operation than being the one who scales theoutside of a building. That being said, under the circumstances, I don’t thinkyou really want to be rushing off to the Middle East and leaving Abby behind.I’ll put you on something local, and you can stay here until your vertigo calmsdown and you and Abby are settled.”

Renly stared at him. “You still want me on the team?”

To his surprise, Ryan laughed outright. “You’re an excellentagent, Renly. And I’m going to assume you weren’t listening to me when I toldyou that there’s plenty you can do where your vertigo won’t be an issue. I’veknown a lot of men with head injuries who developed vertigo, and it tends tocalm down in time. You’re going to be fine. I wish you’d told us, but you’regoing to be fine.”

“Right. Good.” Relief flooded him. Hope, too. The day wasturning around, and that could only mean good things for their chances.

Ryan cleared his throat. “Of course, if you keep somethinglike that from us again, we’re going to have another talk, and I don’t thinkyou’re going to like the outcome of that one. But right now, we’re five byfive.”

Renly grinned. “In that case, I need to know who you’resending up. I need whoever you think is best in the field to go in and rescuemy girl.”

Ten minutes later, Emma was standing beside him. A formeroperative with a secret government agency, she was the best sharpshooter in StarkSecurity. “Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll get her back.”

Renly nodded, hating the fact that he wasn’t the one goingup, but knowing this was about saving Abby, not making Renly feel warm and fuzzy.

The plan was for Emma to go up, assess the situation, andradio back. She’d take care of Darrin, and on her make, the below team wouldblow the downstairs door.

When the team went in, Renly intended to be first in line.There’d still be stairs, but there’d be a solid wall and no outside worldflipping sideways around him.

“Are you okay?” Emma said.

“Yeah,” he said. “Take care of my girl.”

“You’ll have her back soon.”

“I know.” He still hated the fact that he wasn’t on thefront line, but for the first time in a long time, he’d been honest about who hewas and what he was capable of.