Page 64 of My Cruel Salvation

I move to him and take his hands, shaking my head. “No. Oh, Lamar, no. You need closure. You were working it out through this case. Considering you figured out who killed her and then someone else shut him down so quickly, of course you’re feeling a little lost. Your head must be spinning.”

I frown as I study his face. “Are you positive you don’t want to stay another night? I’m not sure I want you to be alone.”

He shakes his head. “No. I’m fine. I’m going to go home, do the flowers, have a glass of Scotch, and sleep for a year.”

“All right, then. I love you, Watson,” I say.

“Love you back, Sherlock.” He kisses my forehead and heads out, pausing in the doorway to my bedroom. “By the way, Brandy was just talking with her mother. She told her that she and Christopher broke up. That was probably the best spin to give Mrs. Bradshaw don’t you think?”

I nod, but I feel bad for Brandy. She needs girl talk, and I’m really the only one there for her. Her mom’s not a bad choice, but she doesn’t understand, and her dad has been distant for years.

I follow Lamar to the door, then see him out and reset the lock. Once again, I look at the stairs to see if Devlin is coming down, but I see no sign of him. I frown, wondering what it was that they talked about. Lamar seemed on edge, but not upset. But I don’t know how that translates for Devlin. I start to head that direction, but then decide I want to check on Brandy.

I pop by her room and tap lightly on the door. I think I hear her say come in, so I push it open, only to see that all I’ve heard is the low mumble of voices on her television. I tiptoe across the room and shut it off. Then I go back to my friend. She’s asleep, curled up in a ball on top of her covers. I take the folded blanket and pull it over her, gratified when she smiles in her sleep. I’ll talk to her in the morning. Right now, what she needs most is rest. It really has been a hell of a few days, the kind that feel like it’s been a year.

I still don’t see Devlin when I leave her room, and now I’m out of excuses. I head up the stairs wondering what kind of mood I’m going to find him in. When I reach the landing, I see him, and my heart melts.

He’s sitting straight on the sofa that’s in the lounge area. His body is tense, but he’s bent over with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He tilts his head up, and I meet his eyes. I see pain there, and grief, and it could be from so many causes that I don’t even know where to begin.

All I can do is go to him. I fall to my knees in front of him and put my hands on his. “Hey,” I say.

He doesn’t say a word, instead he just strokes my cheek then pulls me to him. He kisses me tenderly, and pulls me into his lap. We stay like that for a while, kissing and touching, but not saying a word.

Then he cradles me in his arms as he stands, and carries me to the bed. I start to speak, but he presses a fingertip to my lips. Slowly, he undresses me, and then I watch as he does the same. All the while, we watch each other, the heat that is always between us building.

We make love in silence, not the wild, punishing sex that I know he sometimes need. Hell, that we both sometimes need. No, this is gentle and sweet and so full of love and tenderness my heart aches. And the only time I speak is when my orgasm finally overtakes me and I arch up, crying out his name as my entire body sings with sweetness and love.

It’s not until later, when we are sated and spooned together that he whispers, “What are you thinking?”

“That I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel right now.”

His body shakes with laughter “I’m not entirely sure how I should take that.”

I roll over so that I’m facing him, my own laughter bubbling inside me. “Not because of that. About everything. I spent my entire life around law enforcement, and yet I don’t have a sense of whether or not we’re done. Are we done?”

“Done?”

“Are we safe now?” I ask, repeating what I’d asked Lamar.

He shifts so that he can slide up the bed, the sheet falling down around his hips as he leans up against the headboard. “Safe is a relative term.” He looks at me. “Christopher is still out there.”

“I know. I just had this conversation with Lamar. He’s not concerned.”

“He might be right.”

I nod, then sit up myself holding the sheet over my bare breasts even though it’s ridiculous to have any sort of modesty with this man. He’s seen more of me than anybody. Still, right now I feel better not feeling exposed. “But Joseph Blackstone is dead. And so is Anna. They were the biggest threats. And I think your speech at the luncheon made it clear to anyone who might be after you for your father’s money, that those funds don’t exist for you anymore. It’s all tied into the foundation.”

I draw a breath. “My point is that it feels like we’re back on an even keel. There’s pain that we need to get over, and there’s grief that we need to experience. We need to let time heal, but I don’t think there’s anyone coming after us now. Is there?”

He shakes his head. “It’s always bad to talk in absolutes, but all the intelligence that I and my team can put together suggests that we’re in the clear now. Except, of course, that Christopher remains a question mark. Probably not a threat, but we don’t know for sure.”

“I think he was manipulated. I think he was weak. I think he wanted a relationship with a brother he would have been better off to ignore. But he’s a good man. I know he is. I’ve seen him around Brandy too much. He has a good heart.”

“That doesn’t mean we cross him off the list,” Devlin says. “You should know that as well as I do.”

I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them close. “I know. I do. But I don’t like being that person.”

“I can be that person for both of us. The one who’s extra cautious. You know I’ll always protect you. Maybe that’s part of the job.”