Page 4 of My Cruel Salvation

“You’re not my Momma. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m your sister, and our Momma’s dead, and I can tell you what to do. He said so.”

Nobody in the room needed to be reminded who he was.

With a final scowl towards Alex, Manuel Espinoza turned back into the hall.

“He misses her,” she said. “Now all he does is play on that computer. I’d let him stay up with us, but if your father came in, he’d beat all three of us.”

Alex nodded. “I know. It’s okay. I miss my mother, too.”

“I know you do.”

He frowned. “Did you know her?”

She nodded, her lips pressed tight together.

“Tell me something about her.”

She blinked, her eyes filled with tears. “She was nice. When you were a baby, she used to pay me to help her. I liked her. She told me to call her Cat. And she was so pretty.” She stroked his hair. “You look like her, you know.”

He scowled, even though he liked hearing that. “I’m not pretty.”

She laughed. “You’re going to be a fine man. Inside and out. You promise me that, okay? For her. You have to be good for her. To make her proud. She loved you so much.”

“My dad doesn’t.”

Her brow furrowed, her eyes darting toward the opening to the kitchen on the far side of the room. No one was in the house then, and they’d see if someone came in through the front door. But if someone came in from the back, they wouldn’t see.

He felt suddenly cold. His father could be in there right now—he could have come in silently through the door from the yard into the kitchen—and Alex had said that out loud. What if his father heard and—

“He does,” Aurelia said. “He … he loves you in his own way.” She nodded, like she was trying to make herself believe it. “But—but you don’t want to make him mad, okay? Promise me you won’t make him mad. He stops—”

She bit her lower lip, then let go of him so that she could hug herself.

“He stops loving you when you make him mad,” Alex said defiantly. Why shouldn’t he say it? It was true.

She blinked, then nodded. “Yes.” The word was a whisper. “But don’t ever say that to anyone but me.”

He felt small then, and alone. He wanted her arm back around him. “I know. I won’t.”

“Good.”

He heard the relief in her voice. He hesitated, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking the question. “It’s not really love, is it?”

Her throat moved as she swallowed. “No. It’s not. And you’re too smart for your own good.”

He smiled because he knew that’s what she wanted. But he didn’t feel smart. If he were smart, he would know how to make her not be scared. He’d know how to not be scared himself. He sat up straighter as an idea occurred to him. “Don’t tell me anything else about my momma,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Because it might make him mad. And people get dead when he gets mad.”

“Alex … you should know about her.”

He nodded slowly. “Okay. But if he finds out, I’ll protect you. I was too little to protect her, but I can protect you. I will. I promise.”

He saw fresh tears in her eyes as she smiled. “You’re a good boy, and you’re going to grow into a good man.” Her voice caught as she continued. “You’re going to be just like your daddy. Strong and powerful and—”