Page 47 of My Beautiful Sin

“Oh, hell, Sherlock.” He exhales loudly, then tries to lean back, though he’s really too tall to stretch out much.

“Devlin said you guys ended up okay,” I say. “Is that how you see it, too?”

He nods slowly. “Okay? Yeah, I can live with that assessment.”

“Even with … everything?”

“What the hell is everything? All I know for sure is that he used to be Alex and that he had an asshole for a father.” He turns and looks hard at me. “Whatever else I might think I know is just supposition. And,” he adds, “from a long time ago.”

“Right,” I say as relief floods my body. “A very long time ago.”

“Which takes me back to my point.”

I frown as I shift my gaze from the road to him. “What do you mean?”

“Like you said—Alex is gone. Peter is too. You’re spending a lot of time looking at the past, but you’ve got a pretty solid present in front of you. And if you keep searching, I don’t think you’re going to find anything good.”

“Do you think I can’t handle it?”

“I think you’ve handled enough. And you know what else? I bet Devlin agrees with me.”

I don’t answer because, of course, he’s right. We drive for miles, supposedly in silence but it’s not quiet to me. My thoughts are humming. Filling my head until I have no choice but to speak. “I need answers,” I say. “That’s the bottom line. I loved Peter. I mean, I really did. Not more than my parents, but different. My parents were there, you know? I never thought about loving them or how it would feel if I lost them. They just … well, they were just my parents. I wish I’d thought about it more. Appreciated them more. But I didn’t.”

I draw a breath. “Uncle Peter was different. He wasn’t the world’s best parental figure, but he was a lifeline. And I thought about him being there every single day because I was terrified that I’d lose him, too.”

I lick my lips, but the words keep rushing out. “I knew what I had in him because I’d lost so much, and he was an anchor in a very stormy life. I loved him. I respected him. Hell, I thought he hung the moon. And now I learn he was dirty. And not just a little, but a lot.”

“Ellie…”

I keep my eyes on the road as I shrug. “I need answers,” I repeat. “That’s all. I just need answers.”

He says nothing, but I hear acquiescence in the silence. He may not agree, but he understands, and a heavy quiet settles over us as we move inexorably toward Los Angeles.

We make good time, and I navigate us first to the car wash and then to Peter’s old house in Beverly Hills. But the car wash has closed down, and though I’ve left a dozen messages over the past few days, I haven’t heard back from either the current or the previous owner. I’m considering that a bust. At least for the time being.

We have more luck with Peter’s former neighbors, but only in the sense that they remember him as a great guy who always said hello. Other than that, nothing. Which means Peter wasn’t doing anything illegal from his house, or he was doing it very carefully.

We end up back in the car, both of us silent as the miles slide by. It’s not until we’re almost to Thousand Oaks that I’m tired of my own thoughts and want to lighten the mood. “Are you going to reschedule with Millie? I know she was bummed about not seeing us today.”

He tilts his head, using his finger to pull down his glasses as he looks at me. “Are you psychic now?”

“What? I’m right? Have you already texted her? Did you set a date?”

“The opposite,” he says. “I thought about it, but then Tracy and I had drinks by the pool last night.” He shifts in his seat. “I don’t know. I guess I lost my enthusiasm. I mean, Millie’s great, but—”

“Well, well. This is interesting.”

“Don’t make a thing of it.”

“How often do you two hang out by the pool?”

He scowls, but I can tell it’s only to hide his grin. “Getting more frequent,” he admits.

“Go on.”

I expect him to protest that there’s nothing more to tell, but then he says, “I broke a date with Carlton the other night so that she and I could watch The Maltese Falcon at The Prestige.”

“I didn’t even realize it was showing. Bummer.” The local theater shows a few new releases, but mostly it specializes in classics. “Not that I would have crashed your party.”