Page 21 of My Beautiful Sin

He swallows, then gently lifts my hand and kisses my palm. “Yes,” he murmurs, his voice heavy with emotion. “Exactly that.”

“And I do still get a byline,” I tell him. “Just not for that article.”

“A new assignment?”

I hesitate, because he won’t be releasing balloons about this one. “They want me to do the article on Uncle Peter after all.”

His expression goes totally flat. “Do they?”

I manage a laugh. “Don’t get too enthusiastic. Besides, it’s good. This way all the research I want to do for myself comes with a paycheck.”

He says nothing, and so I barrel on.

“It’s going to be a more personal piece. Almost an essay about my journey to figure out what happened to Peter. The arc of his life into and out of The Wolf’s fold.”

He rubs his temples. “Ellie—”

“I know you don’t like the idea, but too bad. I’m going to find answers. I want to know about my uncle. About what he was involved in. I want to know how he went from being the man he was to the man he became.”

“I get that, but, baby, it’s only going to hurt. And the more you learn about how deep he was in my father’s organization will be like salt in a wound.” He takes my hand. “I don’t want you hurt like that. Not when you don’t need to be.”

“I know. And I know Uncle Peter and his connection to The Wolf overlaps you.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to—”

“But you have to know that I would never put anything in that article that reveals who you are. Or even hints. Hell, I don’t even need to mention you.”

“We’ve talked about this. I still don’t like it. There’s no upside to poking around in the past, Ellie. It’s never a good idea to dig up skeletons.”

“That’s my job, Devlin.” My voice is hard. “I dig up skeletons. It comes with the territory.”

“To find answers that affects the now. That’s what a reporter does. But you’ll never truly have answers with Peter because Peter’s not around to give them to you.”

I yank my hand out of his. “Stop telling me how to do my job. I get you don’t like me poking around in areas that might overlap with your dad, but you’re going to have to get over it. And I also know that I may not be able to learn what was in Peter’s head, but there are still facts I can learn. Facts I need to learn.”

He frowns. “Like what?”

“Little things. Like why he was mad at my mom right before she died. And whether or not that was part of why he moved here to help take care of me. Was it guilt? Did he believe she’d been driving too fast, thinking about some fight they had? Was that why her car went over?”

His expression is beyond sad. “Baby, no. You’ll never find those answers. There’s no one who can tell you.”

“I still have to ask the questions,” I say. “It’s like a prayer, you know? It’s my way to honor them.”

He draws in a breath, then lets it out slowly. I assume he’s gathering his thoughts for another objection, but instead he just says, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

He nods and repeats himself, only this time with a smile. “Yes, okay Not that it matters,” he adds. “I know you’re not asking permission, just keeping me in the loop.”

My heart twists a little. He’s right, and I’m glad he understands that.

He gives my hand another squeeze. “Is that why you came by? Or am I forgetting a lunch date?”

“No, no. Lamar wanted to see Tracy. You’re just a perk.”

“For me as well.” His hand is still holding mine, and I’m hyperaware of the way that his thumb grazes the skin on the back of my hand. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“He’s abandoning me for his job. I was thinking I might try to meet up with a few more of the people that Uncle Peter dealt with.” What I don’t tell him is that I’ve got a personal errand to run, too. The kind that makes my stomach twitch with nerves, but I know I have to go through with it.